It's Not Over
by SaraLyleth
Summary: Taylor's birthday turns out differently. Instead of Ryan apologizing and her forgiving him, she doens't. She plans on leaving Newport Beach but an Earthquake gets in her way. How will Ryan save her now?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everybody! So here is another one of my Rylor stories. I have been addicted to the fourth season of The OC for the past week and this idea just came to me. It does end happily so don't kill me for this chapter. I hope you all like it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The OC. If I did it would still be on the air.**

Taylor walked into her room and looked around. It wasn't even her room. It was Mr. Robert's guest room and he probably didn't even know she was staying in it. She walked over to her bed and wiped away a stray tear and wished she was the type of girl to just lay down and cry. But she'd never been that girl.

In fact, these past months she'd been acting like somebody completely different. Hell, the past year she'd become a complete stranger. She looked in the mirror and she didn't even recognize herself anymore.

She'd always been Miss Independent, Miss Go-Getter. She never let somebody do something she could do herself. It came from being raised by a Drill Sergeant for a mother. Taylor Townsend knew exactly what she wanted out of life and how to get it. Or at least she always thought she had.

But then she'd graduated, and everything she thought she knew turned out to be different somehow. So she'd taken a year off of school to go abroad and see the world a bit before settling on a college. Then she met Henri-Michel and like an idiot, had fallen in love the moment he'd told her he loved her.

She'd always known she had issues with that word. Love. It was basically a four letter word with one meaning, "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." But she'd never experienced it. She'd been searching for it all her life and had assumed she'd found it with Henri-Michel but the moment she had to actually be his wife, she fled. She hopped the first plane out of there and came back to the only place she knew, Newport Beach.

Newport Beach had been her home since she was a little girl. She knew almost everybody and vice versa. She was comfortable here, it was her safety net. When she'd first come back she'd been scared because she knew she couldn't go to her actual home. Victoria Townsend wasn't about to let her newfound freedom go and having Taylor back in her life on a permanent basis wouldn't have been welcome. Taylor knew she rarely told guys she was dating that she had a daughter. She was usually introduced as her sister. It had always been that way.

So she'd hidden out and had done a good job until Summer had spotted her that fateful day. She always looked back on that day and wondered if maybe she had been sitting at a different table if things would have turned out differently. Maybe she wouldn't have fallen in love with Ryan Atwood.

She'd always noticed him. Even in high school when he couldn't stand the sight of her, mainly because she worked hard to keep his soul mate out of Harbor, she'd always thought he was cute. But she'd known he was Marissa's, he had been since the Cohen's had taken him in.

But then she spent Thanksgiving with him and saw another side of him. The side that made her turn to him when Henri-Michel wouldn't give her the divorce without proof of her cheating on him. She'd just been hoping for a signature but Ryan had always been the type to ad-lib, she'd remembered that about him. That had started her obsession.

The whole sleep therapist thing was her biggest embarrassment or it could be the ground hog suit. She'd made a fool of herself in front of him over and over but he'd kept coming back to her. She'd thought they had progressed into something special after the whole Vegas fiasco and then had taken another couple steps forward when his father had shown up. But she'd been wrong. If their relationship was a baseball game they hadn't even left the dugout yet.

Taylor looked around one last time before striding quickly over to her closet where she pulled out her suitcase. She had to get out of here. She couldn't stand the thought of still being here when Julie, Kaitlyn, and Summer returned from her one and only birthday party. She'd had enough pitying looks to last a lifetime.

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Ryan sat on the bench watching Julie and Kaitlyn walk away from him. "_If you don't tell Taylor you love her, you're an idiot."_ He couldn't get that thought out of his head. Kaitlyn may be young but she still had the tendency of speaking the truth.

The thought of being in love with Taylor scared the hell out of him, and it had nothing at all to do with her. He wasn't good at love. His father, his mother, his brother and then of course…Marissa.

When it came right down to it, everything came back to Marissa. He'd fell in love with her the moment he'd seen her standing at the end of her driveway, hair blowing in the wind. She'd been gorgeous and everything he'd always wanted but known he couldn't have. But then, somehow, he'd gotten the girl.

Marissa had been everything he wanted and everything he didn't need. His life had been complicated enough without adding another person who constantly needed saving into the mix. But he'd been helpless when it came to her. She just had to look at him and he'd fall all over himself fixing her world for her. Until, ultimately like he'd always known, there would come a time when he couldn't save her anymore.

Everyone had told him it wasn't his fault and that he had to move on and let her go. But it didn't change things. He'd appointed himself as her protector, the guy who would never let her down. He couldn't just let go of the fact that he'd failed. He'd been content to live in the darkness and just go through the motions of living. Until Taylor.

Taylor Townsend was like a hurricane. She would blow into your life and destroy everything you ever thought was right. But she did it in such a way that you'd just step back and let her. She was always good for a laugh and there was never a dull moment when she was around. Everybody had thought they were good for each other. But Ryan had fought his feelings every step of the way.

But it didn't matter how much he fought it…he loved her. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment that he'd started falling for her. Somewhere between their first real kiss or the ground hog costume. But he'd known he was in love the night she'd tried to get him drunk. It was such a Taylor move. Of course it backfired and she'd ended up drunk but she'd been impossible to resist that night.

So he'd told her. It had been the right moment and he'd known it was true. But then she had to go and be Taylor and jump ten steps ahead of him and mention how she'd already applied to Berkley and that they could now go together. He'd just started getting comfortable with the idea of being in love with somebody that wasn't Marissa.

But of course he hadn't said anything. He just kept quiet and went on like he wasn't thinking desperately of a way to slow things down. Then he'd thought of the dictionary. He'd known it was a mistake the moment he'd handed it to her. It was her first birthday party and he was sure she'd told everybody that they were in love and going to college together. A guy in love just doesn't buy his girlfriend a dictionary for her birthday. He'd embarrassed her…humiliated her. He shouldn't have been surprised that she'd run out on her own birthday. But he felt like a complete jackass for making her cry.

Taylor Townsend didn't cry. He didn't think he'd ever seen her cry. He'd known her for years and he'd never seen her shed a tear. She always had a smile on her face, forced or not. But he'd made her cry. Kaitlyn was right, he was an idiot.

Ryan stood up and hurried towards his car. He had to get to Taylor and apologize for ruining her birthday. But he could only think of one thing that might save his ass. Taylor's real birthday present.

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Taylor zipped the suitcase shut and turned off the TV. She'd put her favorite movie on while she packed and had even tried phoning her psychic…the line had been busy. That couldn't have been a good omen.

"What are you doing?" Ryan asked standing in the doorway. He was breathing heavily having run up the stairs at warp speed.

"Packing," Taylor said barely looking at him.

"Why?" Ryan asked shocked.

"I need to get away," Taylor said lifting the suitcase off her bed. She looked at him fully for the first time since he'd gotten there. "I need…some space."

"Taylor," Ryan said but he was at a loss of words. He'd never thought that she would leave. Taylor just didn't give up like this. It wasn't like her.

"Ryan," Taylor said in a tone of voice that made him wince.

Ryan looked around the room, noting that there wasn't one personal thing of Taylor's left. She wasn't just taking a vacation. It looked like she might not even be coming back. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know…" Taylor answered honestly. She was still trying to figure that out. She only knew she had to get away.

"I'm sorry," Ryan said but was cut off by a very annoyed Taylor.

"You're always sorry," she shot back. Taylor raised a hand when he opened his mouth to say something. "I'm sick of you being sorry Ryan. You've been sorry more times since we got together than Julie Cooper-Nichols has been in her entire life."

Ryan stared at her and knew she was right. "I know that this…relationship hasn't gone exactly the way you've planned."

"Oh my god," Taylor said staring at him. "You can't even say the word, can you?" She shook her head and forced him to move out of the way as she walked through the doorway.

"Taylor," Ryan said following her down the hallway and towards the stairs.

"Ryan," Taylor said again. She knew she was being difficult but she was sick of going easy on him. He'd broken her heart more times than she could count on one hand and she hadn't even affected his apparently.

"You can't leave like this," Ryan said taking the suitcase out of her hand so she had to stop. "We need to talk."

"About what Ryan?" Taylor asked crossing her arms over her chest. "About the fact that you hurt me tonight but hey, it must be like the twentieth time you've done that so that's nothing new. How 'bout the fact that you like to say things you don't mean but I should have known that too. I know, lets talk about the fact that I never meant anything to you except as a way to distract yourself from the fact you can't let go of Marissa."

"That's not true," Ryan said getting pissed off himself.

"It's not Ryan," Taylor said shaking her head at him. "You received a letter from her and you wanted nothing to do with me." When Ryan stared at her in surprise she laughed but there was nothing funny about it. "Didn't think I'd heard about that, did you? I live with Julie Cooper Ryan. Of course it came up. But I let it go, figuring you'd tell me eventually. But I was wrong." Taylor ripped the suitcase out of his hands and headed down the stairs before he could say anything.

"We need to talk about this," Ryan said finally chasing after her.

"No Ryan," Taylor said setting her suitcase down as she turned to face him one last time. "We really don't." She stared at him and she could feel the tears welling up for the second time. She definitely didn't want to cry in front of him. "It's over. We had a…well we had something and maybe we could have stood a chance if it had been years from now. But you aren't ready and I can't wait." She opened the door and picked the suitcase up and smiled sadly. "Goodbye Ryan."

Ryan stood in the front doorway watching as she hurried towards the waiting cab and climbed in after handing her suitcase to the driver. He wanted to chase after her and tell her all the things he'd been planning on saying and to giver her present but he couldn't. His feet were rooted to the floor. He could only stand there and watch as, quite possibly, the only girl in the world besides Marissa he could have loved rode away.

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**Next Chapter:  
-Taylor leaves Summer a message.  
-Ryan talks to Julie and Kaitlyn.  
-EARTHQUAKE!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everybody! So I was totoally blown away by the response to this story. I mean, I liked the idea but wow, a lot of other people did to. So thank you for that. **

**I always thought Taylor gave in way to easy to Ryan. It seemed like he'd mess up in almost every episode and she'd forgive him by the end. Not that I minded the sweet moments between the two of them but make a guy work for it a little...right? **

**So here's the next chapter. I don't know how long this story will be. I could probably end it in the next chapter or draw it out a little more. What do you think?**

The cab pulled out of Summer's driveway and Taylor had to wipe away the tears so she could see the road through the windshield. She wished Ryan hadn't shown up the way he had. It would have been much easier to just leave quietly and call him later to explain things. She didn't mind confrontation, she usually came out on top but it meant more with Ryan.

She took a deep breath as she tried to calm down. She couldn't think when she got all worked up like this. Taylor clenched and unclenched her hands a couple times until she had control over her emotions again. It hurt like hell and it probably would hurt for awhile but she had to keep her composure for just a little while longer.

Taylor wracked her brain trying to figure out where she could go. She hadn't really thought it through when she'd been packing. She just had the instinct to go and she'd gone with it.

"Where to Miss?" The cab driver asked. She'd told him to just pull away from the house and she'd give him directions but they'd been driving for awhile now without her making a sound.

The first thought was, of course, her Mother. Most daughters, when they were hurt or in pain, thought of going to their Mother's for comfort. But Taylor couldn't do that. Veronica Townsend would berate her for being so stupid to hook up with Ryan Atwood in the first place. She would bring up Marissa and all of her problems that she of course blamed Ryan for. No, she couldn't go to her Mother.

Then there was Henri-Michel. He'd welcome her back with open arms. Even though she'd ultimately chosen Ryan over him, he'd told her that he'd always be there for her…and he did love her. He'd told her over and over in many different ways. But she didn't love him. It wouldn't be fair to run back to him. She couldn't go to Henri-Michel.

"Just take me to a hotel," Taylor said finally. She didn't know where else to go. "Any hotel."

She looked down at her purse and pulled out her cell phone. She should probably call Summer and let her know that she'd left. They'd gotten really close in the past couple months. Taylor would even go as far as saying Summer was her best friend. She'd never had one before but she could guess that moving out without telling her wouldn't be appreciated.

Taylor breathed a sigh of relief when Summer's voice mail picked up. "Hey Summer I just wanted to let you know that…I'm okay. I know it wasn't nice of me to run out on my party but under the circumstances. Anyway," Taylor said changing the subject. "I won't be at your house when you get there. I packed a bag and I'm on my way…I don't even know where I'm going actually." Taylor chuckled but she had to wipe away another stray tear. "I'm sorta being spontaneous again…kinda like I did in Paris and look how well that turned out." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Everybody was right Summer. I should have left him alone. He wasn't ready, hell I don't even know if I was ready. I forgot one thing when I chased after Ryan….you can't compete with a dead girl. My mistake right? Well, I'll call you when I get wherever I'm going. Night Sum."

Taylor closed her phone and held it tightly in her hand. She knew Summer would call her immediately after receiving the message and she wanted to be settled somewhere. She closed her eyes and laid her head back against the seat. She just wanted to get to a hotel, crawl into a bed and pull the comforter over her head for a couple days.

Taylor's eyes flew open as the shaking started. She could barely understand the cab driver who was muttering but she stared out the windshield and watched as Newport started falling apart. Cars were crashing into each other, light poles were falling down, buildings were crumbling and the last thing she heard was someone screaming as the taxi veered to miss another car and flew through a guard rail.

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"Ryan," Kaitlyn said surprised to find him sitting on their front stoop. She was carrying an ice cream and wondered if they should have brought something for him. He didn't look the least bit happy. "What are you doing here?" She noticed the gift he was holding in his hands. "Is that Taylor's real present?"

"It was," Ryan said.

"Don't tell me Taylor locked you out?" Julie asked walking up behind her daughter. "Never knew she had it in her."

"She's gone," Ryan said softly. He'd been sitting there since she'd pulled away in the taxi. He couldn't bring himself to go home and admit that they were really over. Sandy and Kirsten had told him from the moment they'd seen Taylor and him together that he should give her a chance. That she was good for him. He couldn't admit how badly he'd messed up…again. He didn't want to see the pity in their eyes.

"Gone where," Kaitlyn asked sitting down beside him. She looked down into the half empty container of ice cream and held it out towards him. He needed it more than her.

"I don't know," Ryan said shaking his head at the ice cream. His stomach was all in knots, he didn't think it could digest anything at the moment.

"What did you do?" Julie asked crossing her arms over her chest. Ryan didn't have the best track record with girls, and she should know, her daughter had been one of them.

"I'm not exactly sure," Ryan admitted. "I know I hurt her pretty bad when I told her I loved her….and then gave her a dictionary for her birthday." Ryan shrugged his shoulders. "She knew I was running…again."

"God you're an idiot," Kaitlyn said shaking her head at him. "Taylor was made for you."

"You were both made for each other," Julie added taking a bite of her own ice cream as she sat down on the other side of Ryan. She'd really gotten to know him in the past couple months and she finally could see why her daughter had fallen so hard for him.

"I always thought Marissa and I were made for each other," Ryan said thoughtfully, his thoughts straying to the girl who'd owned his heart since he was 16.

"No," Julie and Kaitlyn said at the same time. They both exchanged a look but Julie held out a hand for Kaitlyn to continue. "Marissa wasn't good for your hero complex. With you she could constantly screw up and make the stupidest decisions and know you would come rescue her."

"Marissa was a very unhappy girl Ryan," Julie said quietly. She waited until Ryan turned to look at her before continuing. "I think she had so many bad things happen in such a short amount a time that she couldn't recover. The truth is…you are probably the only reason she lived as long as she did." Julie wiped a tear away, talking about her eldest daughter always brought on tears. Parents weren't suppose to out live their children, it wasn't fair. "I know she loved you…but like that letter said, you weren't good for each other."

"I didn't know my sister very well Ryan," Kaitlyn said admitting the one thing she hated even admitting to herself. "We never really got a chance to know each-other. But I do know that she was definitely not the girl for anybody the way she was. She needed help." They all got quieted then, thinking about the many times that Marissa should have received help but they'd let them pass without forcing the issue. "Now Taylor on the other hand…she needs help but for entirely different reasons."

Ryan smiled at that. "She's a little…she's interesting."

"Ryan, the girl is freakin nuts," Kaitlyn said laughing. "But she's also one of the best friends I could have asked for."

"Taylor is what every Mother hopes her son will bring home," Julie said smiling. "She's quirky and can talk about things that nobody understands but she wears her heart on her sleeve. She's strong and independent. She's going places."

"Going right out of my life," Ryan said frowning again.

"Not for good," Kaitlyn said nudging him with her shoulder. "Taylor Townsend is not a quitter. She's off licking her wounds and coming with a killer plan to get you back."

"I don't think so," Ryan said shaking his head. "You didn't see her when she walked out of here." Ryan closed his eyes picturing the look on her face when she'd walked away the last time. "She looked so defeated. Like I've finally sucked the life out of her.'

"I don't think there's a person out there who could suck the life out of Taylor Townsend," Kaitlyn said rolling her eyes. "But she will be back."

"Have a little faith in her Ryan," Julie added. She exchanged another look with Kaitlyn. "And think of ways to start groveling when she does."

"They better be good because Taylor deserves the best," Kaitlyn said standing up. She was fixing her skirt when the shakes started. She looked around before turning to face Ryan and her mother who were standing up too. "Mom…"

"It's an earthquake," Julie said beginning to panic. She'd lived in Newport for 20 years and had never experienced one and couldn't believe she was now.

"Get in the doorway," Ryan said pushing Julie and Kaitlyn towards the doorway. He dropped the present as he made sure both women were safe. Ryan looked out at the driveway on last time before he joined them as a tree crashed right in front of them. It felt like forever but ten minutes later the rumbling finally stopped and the three of them stepped out of the doorway and looked into chaos.

"My house," Julie said covering her mouth with her hand. She sensed both Ryan and Kaitlyn looking at her and quickly added, "I mean, Summer's house."

"It's okay Mom," Kaitlyn said picking up a broken picture frame. "I thought of it as our house too."

"The Cohen's," Julie said turning to face Ryan. She just remembered that they were either still at the party or on their way home.

"I'm sure their okay," Ryan said trying to keep both woman calm. He didn't know if he could handle a hysterical Julie Cooper. "They're probably still at the restaurant." He turned to look at the damage the earthquake had ravaged and his eyes fell on the present he'd dropped in the doorway. "Taylor…"

Kaitlyn shared a look with her Mom before turning to face Ryan. "I'm sure she's okay Ryan. She's probably-"

"She's not okay," Ryan said interrupting her. "She wasn't okay when she left here and there's no way she arrived at whatever her destination was in ten minutes."

"You don't know that," Julie pointed out.

"I have to go look for her," Ryan said walking down the front steps towards Julie's SUV.

"Ryan!" Julie yelled chasing after him. "You don't even know where she is."

"Doesn't matter," Ryan said shaking his head. He opened the door but before he climbed in he sighed. "If our places were reversed and I was the one out there somewhere, she wouldn't rest until she found me. I have to do the same."

Julie stared at him for a moment and knew there would be no talking him out of this. He had that same look on his face, Marissa use to call it his resolve face. Once he made up his mind it was useless to try and change it. She took the keys out of her purse and tossed them at him. "Be careful," Julie warned. "The Cohen's will kill me if anything happens to you."

"I'm going with him," Kaitlyn said hurrying towards the passenger side.

"I don't think so," Julie said crossing her arms over her chest when Kaitlyn turned and gave her the puppy dog face.

"Please Mom," Kaitlyn pleaded. "Taylor is like one of my closest friends. Besides, it's not like we can do much here. You should come too."

Julie turned and looked back at the Robert's estate and knew her daughter was right. There was bound to be structural damage and she didn't feel like dealing with it right now. "Fine, but we are finding Sandy and Kirsten after Taylor."

"Fine," Ryan said tapping the steering wheel impatiently. He peeled out of the driveway and onto the road following the direction Taylor had been headed. He might not know where she was going but he couldn't let that stop him. He'd fallen in love with Taylor and he'd be damned if he'd let the universe take another girl from him.

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**Please Review. It makes my day.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everybody! Once again the response this story is getting astounds me. Thank you so much. As you can see, the reviews make me write a lot sooner. I also agree with most of you. There just aren't enough Rylor stories out there. I hope you like this chapter. It was tough going there for awhile but it started flowing when I got to the middle. I hope you like it. **

Taylor opened her eyes and stared up at the roof of the cab. She raised her hand slowly to feel the bump on the front of her head. Her whole body ached and she knew she'd hurt her foot pretty badly. Taylor winced as she sat up slowly. Her foot was killing her but she couldn't just lay on the bottom of the cab. She had to get help.

She pulled herself up onto the seat, tears pouring down her face from bumping her foot. It was definitely broken. Taylor looked into the front street and screamed. The driver wasn't going to be much help. He hadn't lived through the crash. She turned her face and gagged. She had to get out of there.

She was sitting in the middle of the back seat so she reached over and tried the passenger side door first but it didn't budge. She said a quick prayer as she tried the other door and punched the seat when it didn't budge either. The window was missing and Taylor took a couple deep breaths as she pulled herself towards the window using her good foot to help prop her up. Every move she made sent a shooting pain up her leg and tears fell down her face.

Taylor groaned as she pulled her torso through the window but froze when she heard a pop sound like something sparking. "I don't wanna look….I don't wanna look," Taylor murmured but turned her head slightly to see the hood of the car had started on fire.

"Oh crap," she muttered taking a moment to prepare herself for the massive amount of pain that was to come. She counted to three in her head before pulling with all the strength in her arms and pushing with her one good foot to propel herself through the window until she landed on the ground. "Shit…shoot."

Taylor opened her eyes and she knew she'd blacked out for awhile. How long she didn't know so she rolled onto her stomach and pulled herself away from the car. The flames had grown in the time she'd been unconscious it had spread. She just needed to get away from the car. That was the number one priority.

Only minutes later when she couldn't see the car anymore did she stop. It felt like hours but she was sure it had only been minutes. She rolled onto her back and stared up through the trees at the star filled sky. She knew she should be doing something else but she couldn't think through the pain. Her whole leg was now throbbing along with her head and she knew she was going to pass out soon. The pain was getting to intense.

Taylor finally thought of calling someone but her next thought was she didn't have her phone. Who knows where it had flown during the accident? It had just been resting in her lap. In fact, she'd forgotten her purse in the taxi. She had nothing on her.

"Help!" Taylor called out, but her voice was barely audible to her own ears.

More tears escaped through her clenched eye lids. She hated crying but she was willing to let go this one time. She'd just been in a car accident because of an earthquake. The day was turning out to be one of the worst ones in her life.

"Help!" Taylor tried again but knew nobody could hear her. She didn't even know where she was. She stared up at the sky through the branches and just let the tears fall. She hated that the first person she thought of was Ryan. She wanted him to find her…to save her. But that was wrong of her. He didn't want to be that person. Ryan only liked saving Marissa. She needed to remember that.

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Ryan gritted his teeth as he dodged another fallen tree in the middle of the street. They'd only been on the road for a minute but everywhere they looked there were car accidents, people walking around aimlessly…just chaos.

"I'm sure she's okay Ryan," Kaitlyn said for like the tenth time since they'd pulled out of the Robert's driveway.

"She's gotta be," Ryan said softly. He kept praying that he'd find a taxi pulled off to the side of the road but so far he'd only seen one and it hadn't been the one she'd pulled away in.

"What's going on there?" Julie asked pointing towards the cluster of people standing beside a broken guard rail. She pulled on Ryan's shirt when he only slowed down and didn't stop. "We should see if they need help."

"Mom," Kaitlyn said turning to face her. "There is like twenty people already there. I'm sure somebody is helping them."

Ryan sighed as he slowed down to a stop. He didn't put the car into park, but instead motioned one of the guys over to ask what had happened.

"A car flew right through the guard rail," the guy said shaking his head.

"Are they okay?" Julie asked concerned.

"We don't know," he admitted. "We can see the tail end of the taxi but that's it. We are trying to decide who's going to go down and see if there were any survivors."

"Did you say a taxi?" Kaitlyn asked but Ryan had already thrown the car into park and jumped out. He took off, pushing his way through until he could see down into the ditch below.

"Ryan!" Julie yelled following more slowly behind him. Kaitlyn was right behind her.

"That's her," Ryan said when Julie and Kaitlyn reached him.

"How do you know?" Kaitlyn asked confused. It was the back end of a taxi. They all looked alike.

"I just know," Ryan said as he headed towards the end of the guard rail. He stepped onto the grass and started making his way down the slope towards the car.

"Ryan!" Julie yelled following him once again. She couldn't just let him climb down their alone. Sandy and Kirsten would hate her if she let anything happen to one of their boys. "Kaitlyn you stay here or you're grounded for life."

"Sure Mom," Kaitlyn said rolling her eyes. She didn't really want to climb down there anyway. It was the woods. There were bugs and snakes and things. Gross.

"What if it's not her?" Julie asked Ryan as they climbed down.

"It is," Ryan said curtly. When Julie touched his shoulder, silently asking him to stop he conceded. "Julie, I just know. I don't know how to explain it. I got the same feeling whenever Marissa was in trouble and needed help." He looked down at the taxi which was only about fifteen feet down. He froze when he saw the smoke. "It's on fire!"

They exchanged a look, both sets of eyes full of fear. A part of Julie hoped Ryan was wrong, that this taxi was somebody else's and Taylor was safe somewhere down the road. But as they finished the trek down the hill towards the car, she somehow knew he was right. This was Taylor's taxi.

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Seth and Summer had been on their way home from Taylor's party when the earthquake hit. They immediately pulled over and had watched the destruction of Newport from the front seat of Seth's jeep.

"My first earthquake," Summer said as soon as the rumbling stopped.

"Mine too," Seth said softly. It was so eerily quiet that they both didn't want to disturb the silence.

Summer climbed out of the jeep and walked around to the front bumper. She looked around at all the trees and lamp posts that had fallen down. There weren't any other cars on the street that they could see. They looked like the only people around for miles.

"Oh my God Cohen," Summer said turning to face him once he'd joined her.

"What?" Seth asked checking his jeep for damage.

"Your parents…Ryan…Taylor…the Coopers," Summer said listing all the important people in their lives.

"I'm sure they're okay," Seth said while pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. He was already dialing his parents but it went straight to voice mail. He left a quick message letting them know they were okay and that they were checking on Ryan next. "C'mon Ryan," Seth said as he listened to the phone ring.

"Seth," Ryan said loudly.

"Ryan, you okay," Seth said watching as Summer pulled out her cell phone.

"Yeah," Ryan said panting like he was out of breath. "I'm with Julie and Kaitlyn. We're trying o find Taylor."

"You're trying to find Taylor," Seth said confused. "How'd you lose her? The girl can't keep quiet for five minutes, just listen for the incessant chattering." Summer mouthed something as she held her phone up to her ear but Seth shrugged his shoulders. "I don't read lips honey."

"She was in a taxi when the earthquake hit Seth," Ryan said seriously. He had just reached the back of the taxi and was afraid to walk around and look into the window. He didn't know what he was going to find.

"Then she's probably talking the ear off of the poor driver Ryan," Seth joked. "She's fine Ryan. It is Taylor Townsend we are talking about. She could systematically solve world hunger if she put her mind to it."

"Tell Ryan I am going to kick his ass," Summer said flipping her phone closed. When Seth just stared at her she ripped the phone right out of his hands. "Atwood your ass is grass and I am so the damn lawn mower."

"Summer," Ryan said freezing. "Let me guess, you talked to Taylor."

"Talked…no," Summer said pissed off. "She left me a message."

"What'd she say?" Ryan asked walking slowly towards the broken window so he could peer inside. He sensed Julie standing behind him and held up a hand so she would hold off. She didn't need to see it if it was bad.

"That she was leaving," Summer said sadly. She couldn't believe that another friend, another best friend was leaving her. Marissa hadn't been anybody's fault, well, unless you wanted to blame Volchok. But Taylor's leaving could rest solely on Ryan's shoulders. "You're an ass Ryan."

"I know I am," Ryan agreed. "But right now I think I'm staring at the taxi she drove off in and I'm not sure what I'm going to find."

"What are you talking about?" Summer asked walking away from Seth who was trying to pantomime something but he just looked like an idiot.

"I think Taylor's taxi went through a guard rail during the earthquake," Ryan said uneasily.

"Oh my God," Summer said covering her mouth with her free hand. "Is she okay?"

"I don't know," Ryan said taking one last deep breath before looking in through the broken window. "She's not there."

"Oh thank God," Summer said relieved. "It's not her taxi."

"No it is," Ryan said reaching in and pulling out her purse. "I'm holding her purse right now.

"Well then where is she?" Summer asked snapping her fingers at Seth. She pointed towards the driver side of the jeep while she climbed into the passenger side.

"I don't know Summer," Ryan said turning to look around.

"Where are you?" Summer asked as Seth started the jeep. She repeated the address to Seth and waited until they were off on the road. "We're on our way. Oh and Ryan?"

"Yeah," Ryan said handing Taylor's purse to Julie.

"Find her," Summer said before closing the phone. She looked at Seth who was driving well above the speed limit. She wanted to tell him to go faster. Taylor had been there for her every time she needed her. Now it was time for Summer to return the favor.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everybody!! Wow, thanks for all the reviews. I am so happy that people are actually enjoying the story. I've tried hard to stay in character with everybody and sometimes I think I've lost them but if you don't think so then great. :) I hope you like this chapter. **

"Taylor!" Ryan called putting his phone back in his hip pocket. He took a step and peeked into the driver's window and gagged as he backed away. "Don't look in there," he warned Julie. She didn't need to see the dead body.

"We'll find her Ryan," Julie said repeating the same mantra ever since Ryan had pulled Taylor's purse out of the taxi.

"Taylor!" Ryan yelled again.

"Ryan!" Kaitlyn yelled on her way down the hill. Once she heard him yelling Taylor's name she knew he'd been right. That taxi was Taylor's. "Where is she?" she asked once she reached her Mom.

"We don't know," Julie said gently placing her hand on her daughter's arm. "But she has to be around here somewhere."

"Totally," Kaitlyn said attempting an optimistic smile.

"I'm going to go this way," Ryan explained pointing off to the side by the driver's side. "Can you take the other side? Branch out and yell if you see her."

"Shouldn't we call somebody?" Kaitlyn asked curiously.

"I'm sure somebody up there called 911 but who knows how many emergency calls they've had tonight," Ryan pointed out. "I can't wait for search and rescue. This is Taylor…I have to find her."

"Okay Ryan," Julie said nodding her head. "We'll go this way."

Ryan nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat. He was terrified of what he would find in the woods. All day today he'd been panicking because he'd told her he loved her. Now he wished he hadn't gotten scared and messed everything up. He was always screwing things up.

Everybody could blame Marissa, it was the easy thing to do since she wasn't here anymore. But he knew that most of the time it had been his fault. He was like poison for relationships. He couldn't keep a healthy one for long, he always had to do something to destroy it. This time it just happened to be a dictionary.

Who gives somebody a dictionary for a birthday present? Even if he hadn't been in love wither her, you don't give a girl you're seeing a dictionary. It was like holding up a neon sign that said I didn't put a single thought into the gift. But after telling her he loved her and then giving her the world's worst present, he was a complete ass. And he just wanted to find her so she could tell him that…over and over if she wanted.

"Ryan!" he heard Summer yell.

"Over here!" Ryan yelled back. He paused and waited for Seth and Summer to catch up with him.

"Where is she?" Summer asked completely out of breath having run from Seth's jeep until she reached Ryan.

"Somewhere out here," Ryan said gesturing towards the woods that surrounded them. "Kaitlyn and Julie are looking in the other direction."

"Do you really think you're going to find her?" Seth asked softly. He held up both his hands when Summer and Ryan both glared at him. "I'm just trying to be the voice of reason here. Do you know how big these woods are? She could be anywhere."

"We'll find her," Ryan said for what seemed like the millionth time.

"We have to," Summer added. "Taylor!" she yelled loudly going off in another direction leaving Ryan and Seth standing together.

"I still think we should wait," Seth said honestly. "We don't know where she is. She could be disoriented and wandering aimlessly somewhere out here."

"Or she could be seriously hurt out here," Ryan said shaking his head at Seth's suggestion. "I can't wait Seth. She's out here because of me. Because of my damn insecurities she was in a taxi on the road during the earth quake."

"I still don't understand why she left," Seth said confused. Both guys started walking together, keeping their eyes peeled for Taylor.

"She needed to get away," Ryan explained even though he didn't understand it himself. "She was sick of carrying our relationship and couldn't do it anymore."

"I just can't see Taylor quitting," Seth said surprised she'd finally saw what he'd been saying from the beginning. That Ryan wasn't ready for anything serious, he probably wouldn't be for a long time.

"Well she did," Ryan said. "She thinks I'm still hung up on Marissa."

"Well aren't you," Seth said surprised when Ryan shook his head no.

"I won't lie and say I don't think about her from time to time," Ryan explained. "But ever since I got that letter from her during Chrismukkah…I've let go of her."

"Seriously," Seth said surprised.

"I'm always going to love her," Ryan went on. "She was a huge part of my life but that part of my life is over. I've started a new life…with Taylor. It's different but a good different. It's lighter and easier…it's pretty great actually."

"Then why the dictionary?" Seth asked chuckling when Ryan's face flushed a dull red.

"Because I was scared," Ryan admitted. "Just because I love Taylor doesn't mean I wanted to. I didn't want to fall in love with anybody ever again. It was so hard the first time."

"Love isn't easy," Summer said from behind them.

"I know it's not," Ryan said.

"Our love isn't easy," Seth said at the same time.

"Shut up Cohen," Summer said rolling her eyes at her boyfriend. "But Marissa and you were too alike to last forever." When Seth and Ryan stared at her she shrugged her shoulders at the uncomfortable silence. "I'm just saying that you were both dark and broody and really, really intense." Summer paused and smiled before continuing. "Taylor is your exact opposite. She brings out a fun playful side to you. It was nice getting to know that Ryan."

"That is true," Seth agreed.

They all walked together in silence, their eyes straining in the darkness to catch a glimpse of Taylor. Ryan was slowly starting to agree with Seth that their whole search was fruitless when he spotted something out of the corner of his eye.

"Taylor," Ryan said in a normal tone causing Seth and Summer to freeze and stare at him.

"Do you see her?" Summer asked looking around without seeing anything. She stared at Ryan with her mouth hanging open when he took off running. "Ryan Atwood!"

"Taylor," Ryan said as he reached her. He wanted to cry when he saw the dried tear tracks on her cheeks. He gently touched the bump on her head that was still oozing blood. He was afraid to move her in case she was seriously hurt.

"Oh my God Taylor," Summer said crouching down on the other side. She had to wipe away her tears before she could grab her cell phone to call 911.

"911 emergency, what is your emergency?" the dispatcher asked after only one ring.

"Yeah hi, I just found my friend and she's unconscious with a big bump on her forehead," Summer said watching Ryan gently stroke her face and call her name trying to wake her up.

"How long has she been unconscious?" the dispatcher asked.

"I said I just found her!" Summer yelled into the phone. She stared up at Seth in shock when he ripped the phone out of her hands this time.

"Yeah we just found her. It looks like she crawled away from the car accident she was in," Seth explained more calmly. "The taxi she was in went through a guard rail and down into a ditch."

"Sir there is a long list of emergencies and we are working our way through them," the dispatcher said. "The ambulances ETA is approximately 20 minutes."

Seth nodded his head as he closed the phone and handed it back to Summer. "So yeah the ambulance isn't going to be much help. We're going to have to get her to the hospital ourselves."

"I don't know if we should move her," Summer said softly.

"She got herself out of the taxi and got herself this far away from the taxi," Seth pointed out. "I'm sure she doesn't have a back or neck injury honey."

"We don't know that for sure though," Summer said shot back.

"Guys!" Ryan barked their bickering getting on his nerves. "Arguing about it isn't going to do any good. Now Seth's right, we can't wait Summer." He placed his left arm under Taylor's neck and his right under her legs and lifted slowly. When she didn't even wake he sighed in relief. "Now we just have to get to the car."

"This way," Summer said standing up taking the lead.

"Uh…honey…it's that way," Seth said pointing in the opposite direction.

"I know where the car is Cohen," Summer snapped. "And it's this way."

"You're both wrong," Ryan said rolling his eyes. He lead the way and as soon as they reached the burning taxi he started climbing the hill as he said, "go find Julie and Kaitlyn. Meet me at the hospital."

"I'm going with you," Summer said leaving Seth to find the Cooper's.

Ryan swore when he started slipping. The hill was steep and trying to carry somebody up it wasn't the easiest thing to do. "Summer I need your help," he mumbled.

"Anything," Summer said out of breath once again.

"I need you to help carry her," Ryan said pausing until Summer was beside him. He readjusted his hold on Taylor until Summer was supporting her back and head. "Be careful, we can't jar her anymore than we already are."

"Let's just go," Summer said staring down at her best friend. She didn't look real good. She was deathly pale with blood caked in her hair. Her face was covered in dirt and blood mixed with it.

Once they reached the road the crowd of people separated clearing them a path to Julie's SUV. Ryan took all of Taylor's weight while Summer climbed into the backseat first. Then he placed her gently across with her head in Summer's lap. He stared at her for another second praying to God that he didn't lose another person he loved.

"Ryan, lets go," Summer said breaking into his thoughts.

Ryan ran around the front of the SUV and jumped in the car in a matter of seconds. He pulled onto the road and started the short trek to the hospital. There was an uncomfortable silence in the car and it was driving Ryan nuts. He kept glancing back in the rearview mirror at an unconscious Taylor and Summer who was running her hand through Taylor's hair. But seeing the two of them together, he couldn't help but wonder what Taylor had said on Summer's voice mail.

"What did the message say?" Ryan asked breaking the silence.

"Huh…what?" Summer asked looking at him in confusion.

"You said Taylor left you a message," Ryan said slowly so she didn't misunderstand. "What did the message say?"

"Look Ryan," Summer said trying to put him off. She searched for the right words but couldn't find them. "Does it really matter?"

"It was the last thing she said before the accident," Ryan said wondering how bad the message was if Summer didn't want him to hear it. "I know she's angry with me but I just need to know."

Summer stared at the back of his head before reaching into her pocket to pull out her cell phone. She didn't know if it was a good idea to let him listen to the message but she honestly didn't think the communication between Taylor and Ryan could get any worse. "Just dial one and follow the directions."

Ryan took a deep breath as he took the cell phone from Summer's hand. He was nervous to hear the last words Taylor had uttered to anybody. He followed Summer's directions and placed the phone to his ear.

"_Hey Summer I just wanted to let you know that…I'm okay. I know it wasn't nice of me to run out on my party but under the circumstances." _Ryan could hear the pain in her voice and he swallowed the lump in his throat as she continued. _"Anyway, I won't be at your house when you get there. I packed a bag and I'm on my way…I don't even know where I'm going actually. I'm sorta being spontaneous again…kinda like I did in Paris and look how well that turned out." _Ryan winced when she mentioned Paris. If she was lumping him with Henri-Michel, he would definitely be groveling. _"Everybody was right Summer. I should have left him alone. He wasn't ready, hell I don't even know if I was ready. I forgot one thing when I chased after Ryan….you can't compete with a dead girl. My mistake right? Well, I'll call you when I get wherever I'm going. Night Sum."_

Ryan handed the phone back to Summer as he blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. He hated that Taylor thought she was competing with Marissa. Because she wasn't. There was no competition between the two girls. He needed her to wake up so he could tell her that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everybody! So the last chapter reviews were slightly disappointing. I didn't really get any. I don't know if thats because people haven't gotten a chance to read it or it sucked. I hope it's not because it sucked because that would...for lack of a better word, suck. I know some people said that in the last chapter they couldn't see Seth calling Summer honey but it was sarcastically. I hope that clears up some confusion. Well I hope you like this chapter. Please review. Even if you want to tell me it sucks, I'll take it. Thank you.**

Ryan pulled up in front of the emergency room entrance and jumped out of the car. He took off running into the hospital looking for anybody that could help him. "Can I get some help outside for my friend?" He lead the way back to the SUV and opened the door on Summer's side so she could back out.

"What happened?" the doctor asked as the paramedics got a stretcher ready.

"She was in a car accident," Ryan explained shaking from all the adrenaline that had been surging through his body. "The taxi she was in went through a guard rail down into a ditch. We found her about 50 feet away from the car unconscious."

"Has she regained consciousness for any amount of time?" the doctor asked as they carefully lifted Taylor out of the back seat.

"No," Ryan said shaking his head also.

"Do you know where her next of kin is?" the doctor asked as they started wheeling her into the building.

"She only has her Mom and I don't know where she is," Summer said answering for the first time. "We're her next of kin," she added softly. "I'm her best friend."

"The admissions is going to need you to fill out some forms to the best of your abilities," the doctor explained. "It would help if you could locate her Mother for us."

"Is she going to be okay?" Summer asked her voice breaking.

"We'll know more after we run a CAT scan and get some x-rays," the doctor said his mind already racing with possible reasons for her unconsciousness. "It looks like she hit her head pretty hard. She could be out for awhile. When you're done filling out the forms just have a seat in the waiting room."

"Thanks," Ryan said as he watched the doctor walk through the double doors. He followed Summer over to the admissions desk where she got the clipboard and they both attempted to fill it out.

"I don't know the answer to any of these," Summer said softly. She looked up at Ryan who was staring out the window at the car which was still parked in front of the building. "Ryan…you might want to move the car."

"Oh…yeah," Ryan said standing up. He walked out the door and climbed back into the driver's seat as an overwhelming feeling of despair fell over him. He turned the car on and hurried to an open parking spot just as the tears started to fall. He'd been holding them back all night, ever since the first moment he'd pictured Taylor in the earth quake. He'd pictured her hurt or scared…and she must have been both when the taxi had gone through the guard rail.

Ryan pounded on the steering wheel when he saw Taylor laying on the ground again. He kept flashing back and forth between Marissa lying dead in his arms to Taylor looking close to death on the ground. It was too close of a match for him. He couldn't take it. If Taylor didn't pull through…he was done. He was poison for anybody who fell in love with him.

It was the running joke for everybody that if anything happened to them, Ryan would come and save them. He'd show up on his white horse and solve the problem. Nobody ever mentioned how he caused most of them.

"Ryan?" Kaitlyn said tentatively as she tapped on the window. Seth and Julie were still in side sitting with Summer but Kaitlyn had wanted to check on Ryan. She didn't know what it was about him but she'd bonded with him…during the whole Julie/Frank/Bullet debacle. They were friends…even siblings. She was worried about him.

Ryan wiped his eyes quickly but the tears just kept falling. He guessed it was just his body finally dealing with all the emotions he'd been keeping bottled up for months. "Yeah," he said as he climbed out of the car and hit the lock button.

"Are you okay?" Kaitlyn asked gently. But then she rolled her eyes at her dumb question. "Stupid question, of course you're not okay."

"I just keep picturing her lying on the ground," Ryan said staring out at nothing. "She looked dead and just for a moment, I thought she was."

"Taylor dead," Kaitlyn said shaking her head. "It's going to take more than a car crash to kill Taylor Townsend Ryan." She mentally slapped herself when she remembered he'd already gone through one car crash with a girl who didn't make it. "I mean…this isn't like Marissa."

"It could have been," Ryan said looking at Kaitlyn for the first time.

"But it's not," Kaitlyn insisted. "Taylor made it to the hospital where she's going to get the best care possible. Because of you. You saved her Ryan."

"I'm always saving somebody," Ryan said more to himself but Kaitlyn heard him anyway.

"And that's a bad thing…how?" Kaitlyn asked confused. When Ryan just stared at her she sighed and walked over until she was leaning against the car alongside him. "It's true that you save a lot of people. But that just means that you are there when the chips are down. Lot's of people are there only through the good times. But you…you're there even when somebody might not deserve to have someone there."

Ryan stared at her. He knew in his head that she was right. That it wasn't a bad thing to be the savior when it came to most of his friends and family. But in his heart…he was tired. Tired of always being the one people turned to.

"Now lets go inside and wait for the Doctor to tell us when Taylor Townsend can start driving us all nuts once again," Kaitlyn said taking the first step forward but she waited until Ryan joined her.

They were almost at the front door when Ryan slung his arm around her shoulders and squeezed her to his side. "You're a good kid Kaitlyn," he said making her gag. "You try to come off as a hard ass all the time, but you're not."

"I am so a hard ass," Kaitlyn insisted pulling away from him so he could see her face. She was shooting daggers at him with her eyes. When Ryan shot her a quick grin she had to soften her face. If he was smiling then she knew things were going to be okay.

"Everything okay," Julie asked standing up when they joined them in the waiting room. She knew Ryan had been crying just from how red his eyes were but she'd also seen him hug her daughter and smile.

"Yeah," Ryan said nodding his head. For the moment, it looked like things were going to be okay.

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"It's been an hour," Summer said breaking the silence that had taken over. She'd turned in the paper work with it only the basic information filled out. She realized how little she actually knew about Taylor. They talked all the time, well, Taylor talked all the time but never about the important stuff.

"I'm sure everything's fine," Julie said but she even cringed this time. She was sick of saying it and she was positive they were sick of hearing it.

"Did you get a hold of her Mom?" Summer asked Julie. She'd bowed out earlier to try and reach Veronica Townsend but had never said if she'd reached her or not.

"It didn't even ring," Julie said shaking her head. "The phone lines must be down."

"I'll drive over there," Seth said surprising everybody when he stood up.

"You are going to go see Veronica Townsend," Summer said staring at her boyfriend like he'd grown another head or something.

"Aren't you scared of Taylor's Mother?" Kaitlyn asked smirking when he glared at her.

"I am not afraid of Veronica," Seth argued but even Ryan arched an eyebrow when he said that. "Okay, yes she can be a little intimidating but I can handle her."

"I'm going with you," Julie said standing up. If Veronica was going to hear about her daughter it should be from another Mother. Especially the Mother who had been her daughter's landlord for the past couple months. She just hoped it went over better this time than it had at Chrismukkah.

"Great thanks," Seth said visibly relaxing making Kaitlyn chuckle.

"You are so afraid of Taylor's Mom," she said.

"I am not," Seth insisted.

"Are too," Kaitlyn shot back.

"C'mon now children," Julie said rolling her eyes. Seth was normally more mature than this but leave it to her daughter to bring out the little kid in everybody. "Let's go Seth."

Seth waited until Julie's back was turned and she was heading towards the exit before he stuck his tongue out at Kaitlyn. She just smiled and waved leaving him to look like the dork all his classmates had claimed him to be.

"You're right," Summer said smiling at Kaitlyn. "He is totally afraid of Veronica Townsend. Always has been."

"Summer? Ryan?" Kirsten said walking as quickly as she could into the waiting room. She hugged them both along with Kaitlyn when they stood up to greet her. "You're okay! We were so worried." When they all three looked behind her and saw nobody but Kirsten she smiled. "Sandy is still talking to the doctor."

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked motioning for her to sit down.

"We just wanted to check on the baby…you know after the earth quake," Kirsten explained. "The doctor said everything was fine." She looked around and realized she was still missing somebody. "Where's Seth?"

"He bravely sacrificed himself to go and find Veronica Townsend with Julie," Summer explained. "Taylor was in an accident."

"Oh God no," Kirsten said covering her mouth with her hand. "Is she going to be okay?" she asked turning to Ryan who had sat down beside her.

"We don't know," Ryan admitted. "She was in a taxi when the earthquake hit. The driver must have lost control because they went through a guard rail and down into a ditch."

"God Ryan I'm sorry," Kirsten said placing a hand gently on his cheek. She hated that bad things kept happening to her kids. First Marissa now this. It wasn't fair.

"She's going to be okay," Ryan said staring at the double doors as if sheer force of will would make it so. "She has too."

"Summer? Ryan?" Sandy asked walking towards them.

"Long story short," Kaitlyn said before anybody else could say anything. "Taylor was in an accident and Ryan and Summer drove her here and Seth is with my Mom finding Taylor's Mom."

"I think I'll need the long story," Sandy said confused. "But thanks Kaitlyn."

"Your welcome," Kaitlyn said rolling her eyes as she stood up. She wasn't going to wait around for them to tell the story one more time. She lived it, she didn't need to hear it again. She walked out of the waiting room as Ryan opened with the earthquake wondering where she could bum a smoke from somebody. If there ever was a time to start smoking, this was it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Wow so it's been a long time since I updated. But I've had a lot of changes happen in the past couple months. I moved and am now finally settling in my new job and house. I kinda lost interest in my story for a little while but I'm back. Thank you to everybody who reviewed and who is still reading this story. I love Ryan and Taylor together so you know how it's going to end. I just hope you like the journey that gets them there. **

**Please Review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Ryan paced back and forth in the waiting room. Another hour had passed with Summer frequently muttering about the wait, Sandy and Kirsten offering to get them something to eat and drink every ten minutes and nobody knew where Kaitlyn had gone. He couldn't help but think that it was a bad omen that nobody had come and told them what was wrong. They wouldn't even talk to Sandy. They'd only talk to family and Julie and Seth were still trying to locate Veronica.

"Maybe I should try talking to them again," Sandy offered standing up.

"It won't matter," Summer said pouting. "We're not her family." She slouched down in her seat and glared at the TV where some horrible lifetime movie was playing. "If we're not her family, I don't know who is. We're the ones who have provided her with a place to live. We spent the holidays with her and we through her a birthday party, not Veronica Townsend. I am her family dammit!"

"Hold that thought," Seth said walking into the waiting room followed by Julie and lastly Veronica Townsend.

"What in the hell happened to my daughter tonight?" Veronica asked the Sandy and Kirsten.

Sandy looked at Kirsten before standing up. "I don't know, we weren't there with her but Summer and Ryan told us-"

"Excuse me if I don't care what the hoodlum has to say," Veronica said interrupting him. "Now my daughter had 18 years without ever once having to go to the hospital and in the past year she's had two visits. That doesn't look too good now does it?"

"Ms. Townsend," Ryan said standing up also but she didn't even get him a chance.

"I think I said quite clearly that I don't care what you have to say," Veronica said glaring at him. "Isn't it bad enough you killed one of Newport's train wrecks now you have to try again."

"Ryan wasn't even there!" Kaitlyn said standing up to defend her almost brother.

"And Taylor isn't a train wreck," Summer said shooting daggers at her.

"Excuse me," the doctor said from the doorway. "Taylor Townsend's next of kin?"

"I'm her Mother," Veronica said stepping forward.

"I'm Doctor Hansen," he said introducing himself. "Your daughter has suffered a severe head trauma. She also broke her ankle in two places but they were clean breaks, we set them and she'll have to wear a cast for at least six weeks. From the bruising we know she wasn't wearing a seat belt."

"Stupid girl," Veronica muttered crossing her arms over her chest.

"She's going to be okay though…right?" Summer asked softly.

"The concussion worries us," he admitted. "There is lots of swelling and we won't know more until it goes down."

"She's going to be okay though right?" Summer asked louder.

"We'll know more in 48 hours," he said smiling sympathetically. He wished he could give them better news but he'd learned very early on in his career that you don't give false hope. He didn't know if Taylor would be alright, at least right now he didn't know. "Now we are only allowing two visitors in at a time at five minute intervals."

"Only family," Veronica stated quickly before the doctor could add anything else.

"Only if the family enforces it," Doctor Hansen said. "Honestly Ms. Townsend, surrounding Taylor with familiar people could work in your best interest."

"Somehow I don't think so," Veronica said before walking towards the doorway. "Now what room is my daughter in?"

"She's in room 4," Dr. Hansen said taking the lead as he lead the way into ICU. He stopped outside a closed door and turned to Veronica. "Ms. Townsend I highly recommend you reconsider shutting Taylor's friends out. I've witnessed lots of cases where someone with the same injury wakes up faster with visitors than somebody without."

"They are the reason she's in here in the first place," Veronica said glaring at the doctor. "Now can I please have a moment alone with my daughter."

Dr. Hansen tried to stare her down but eventually shook his head and walked away. He was just another guy to bow down to Veronica Townsend. Nobody ever stood up to her and won. That's why she was the number one sports agent in California.

Veronica took a deep breath before she walked into Taylor's room. She didn't know what to expect but what she saw made her freeze in place. Her daughter was surrounded by machines. Veronica wasn't a doctor so she couldn't even begin to understand what each one was monitoring but as she stepped closer to the bed she wished she'd had Doctor Hansen stay and explain them to her. It didn't look like Taylor was going to be okay.

"What did you do?" Veronica mumbled when she finally stood beside her daughter. She knew she would never win the Mother of the Year award but she never wanted to see Taylor in pain…or unconscious. She was still her daughter after all.

"Oh I'm sorry," somebody said from behind her. "I didn't know anybody was in here."

"And you are?" Veronica asked turning to face the young woman who was in scrubs.

"I'm one of your daughter's nurses," she said walking farther into the room. "My name is Melissa."

"Can you tell me what all these machines are doing?" Veronica asked looking back towards her daughter.

"I could," Melissa said walking up so she was standing beside her. "But it would just be a bunch of medical mumbo jumbo that wouldn't mean anything."

"Why don't we let me be the judge of that?" Veronica asked glaring at the young nurse.

Melissa stared at Ms. Townsend and knew that she should leave. That dealing with the Newport Parents wasn't her forte but looking into her eyes, she was still just a worried Mother deep down.

"It helps if you talk to her," she said softly. "Talk to her about her favorite books…movies. Talk about her favorite TV shows and the music she listens too." Melissa smiled when she looked down at Taylor. "She's going to make it. Look how much she survived so far."

"What do you mean?" Veronica asked confused.

"Nobody told you," Melissa said surprised. "She survived a car accident, the taxi she was in went through a guard rail and crashed about 20 feet below. She somehow pulled herself from the car and crawled a good distance away before passing out." When Veronica just continued to stare at her she shook her head. "I can't believe nobody told you."

"They tried," Veronica muttered before looking away. She looked down at her daughter and for the first time since she could ever remember she wanted to make a wish. She hadn't wished for anything since her eighth birthday when she wished her Mom hadn't left…that wish hadn't come true. But right now she wanted to wish that her daughter was going to be okay. That she would wake up and they could…start over.

"Just talk to her," Melissa said again.

Veronica held up a hand before turning and walking out of the room. She couldn't stand in there and talk to her daughter. She couldn't talk about her favorite book or TV show…her favorite anything. She didn't know any of those things. Veronica Townsend had never failed at anything but she was just beginning to realize that she had failed getting to know her daughter and it didn't sit well with her.

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"Ryan," Seth said for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"I'm not leaving Seth," Ryan said again. "You and I both know that if it was me in that room and Taylor waiting out here, she wouldn't leave. You couldn't pry her out of this waiting room."

"But your parent's wouldn't tell her to get lost like her Mom basically told you," Seth explained.

"I don't care," Ryan said shaking his head. "I can't leave until I know she's going to be okay."

"Maybe I should-" Summer said but Seth covered her mouth with his hand.

"Summer and I will be at home waiting for your phone call to tell us if anything's changed," he said turning to leave the room. He pulled his hand away quickly and glared down at his girlfriend. "Did you just lick me?"

"Did you just cover up my mouth to shut me up?" Summer asked glaring at him right back.

Ryan watched them walk away and shook his head at their antics. The two of them were made for each other. He stood up and paced back and forth trying to formulate a plan that would enable him in seeing Summer. He needed to check on her himself. Getting around Veronica was going to be a major issue but she had to leave sometime-

"What are you doing here?" Veronica asked from behind him.

Ryan froze and took a deep breath before turning around. He saw her standing stiffly in the doorway of the waiting room with her arms crossed over her chest. She was just standing there, tapping one of her feet and glaring at him. "I know you think your reach extends far but I know for a fact you can't kick me out of the public waiting room."

Veronica stared at him and all she could see was a young man who was obviously worried about something and couldn't hide it. She normally saw the hoodlum that Sandy Cohen had drug up here from Chino but she didn't see that anymore. She saw the kid who knew more about her daughter than she did.

"Do you know Taylor's favorite book?" she asked surprising Ryan.

"Uh…it's a book of French poems," Ryan said confused. "She reads one before bed every night."

"Her favorite movie," she asked walking towards him.

"An Anime movie that-well any Anime movie pretty much," Ryan said smiling when he remembered their first…well messed up date. It had been the first moment when Ryan had realized that he could honestly fall for her and that had terrified him. But in the end, running away from something that felt so right was even more terrifying.

"Her favorite song?" Veronica asked sitting down in a chair beside him.

"She would say anything from Coldplay," Ryan said softly sitting down too. "But I know it's really Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun. Whenever that song comes on she goes nuts. She dances and she knows all the words."

"Her favorite TV show?" Veronica said wiping away a stray tear that had fallen.

"That one's easy," Ryan said staring off into space. "It's Desperate Housewives. We've never missed an episode and even though I tell her every week that I don't like the show and I don't care that Carlos and Gabby are no longer together, she still makes me watch it." Ryan looked over at Veronica and he froze when he saw the tears falling down her face. "Ms. Townsend I don't know-"

"Do you know how much it hurts to sit here and know that I've learned more about my daughter in the last 5 minutes than in the last 19 years?" Veronica said softly. "I know what you guys see when you look about me, what you say behind my back. I ridicule her and tear her down again and again. But I know how hard the real world is and…no it doesn't matter."

"Ms. Townsend," Ryan said again.

"The nurse told me to talk to her about her favorite things," Veronica went on. "She says it will help. But I don't know any of Taylor's favorite things." She stood up and walked towards the doorway. "You go in there Ryan. You talk to her about her favorite things and make her wake up. It's you she'd want in there anyways."

Ryan watched her leave before mumbling, "I wouldn't be so sure about that."


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everybody! I'm updating again, yeah me! I am so proud of myself. I have been working so hard at cranking out chapters for all my stories. I have three going but all three are for different TV shows. It's not easy but I'm doing my best. I hope you like this chapter. I teared up at a couple spots but I'm a sentimental fool. :) I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think.**

Ryan stood outside Taylor's room just staring at the door. He'd already tried counting to ten, taking deep breaths and reciting the words, 'she's going to be okay'. Nothing worked when it came to calming him down. His heart was still beating really fast and he couldn't quit picturing Taylor laying unconscious in the woods.

"Are you lost?" one of the nurses asked after noticing the young man still standing in front of the door. She'd been watching him since he'd walked down her hallway and she couldn't help but be suspicious of him. He was just standing there and sometimes it looked like he was talking to himself.

"No," Ryan said quickly. The last thing he needed was some concerned nurse throwing him out of the hospital. He gave her a nervous smile before grasping the door knob in his hand. He turned it and stepped in the private room before he could change his mind.

He swore out loud when he saw all the machines they had her hooked up to. For some reason it didn't make him feel to optimistic for Taylor's outcome. After watching her doctor hem and haw over her condition and prognosis and then seeing her…he couldn't help but feel it was Marissa all over again.

He stalked towards the bed and looked around until he spotted the universal chair all hospitals provided. The uncomfortable one that only adds to the uncomfortable vibe he already felt about the situation. He pulled it along with him until he was sitting to the right of the bed away from all the machines.

For a moment he just stared at the machines. Taking notice that they were all somehow connected to Taylor in some way. He knew one was measuring her brain waves and another was monitoring her heart but what about the other two?

He turned to look at the room and knew Taylor would have hated it. She was all about decorating to show your true self. She'd already gotten after him after seeing how impersonal the pool house was. He took out his wallet and pulled out the only picture he had in it. It was one Kirsten had taken after they'd gotten home from the hospital during Chrismakkuh. It was one of the only pictures he had of the both of them. When she woke up he wanted one of the first things she saw to be that picture.

Finally he leaned forward gently lifting one of Taylor's hands from the bed so he could clasp it gently between his own. He rubbed the top of her hand, softly tracing the few scratches she must have received either from pulling herself out of the car or crawling on her belly through the woods. He had to smile when he pictured her doing just that.

"You really are a tough one aren't you Taylor," he said shaking his head. "You told me you could take care of yourself and that you didn't need a hero but I never listened did I?" When she obviously didn't answer he sighed. "Taylor, you need to wake up so I can tell you just how right you are.

"I never meant to hurt you tonight. If you can hear me you have to know that Taylor. I honestly wasn't even thinking of you when I gave you the…dictionary," Ryan said stumbling over the word. He still couldn't believe out of all the things he could have given her he gave her a dictionary. He just hoped that years from now they'd be able to laugh about it. "I was thinking about myself." He squeezed her hand when he said that. "I've been doing a lot of that lately. I never thought about Sandy or Kirsten when I went tearing off after Volchok. They've been so good to me, taking me in, providing me with shelter…security. Both of which I never had much of." He placed her hand back on the bed as he stood up so he could pace. He couldn't sit still while he poured his heart out for her.

"You said that I say things I don't mean," Ryan went on after he gathered his thoughts. "I meant it when I said I love you. Because I do. But that terrifies me. I didn't want to be in love Taylor. The last girl I was in love with…well that kind of leads into the other thing you said.

"I never used you to get over Marissa," Ryan insisted turning to face her. "I don't know if I'll ever get over Marissa…she was a big part of my life. But that doesn't change the fact that I love you.

"Do you know the moment I fell in love with you?" he asked smiling softly. "I keep trying to pin point the exact moment. Was it when you pretended to be my sleep therapist? You are so crazy sometimes but I love that about you. Was it when you 'stalked' me dressed as a groundhog? You're the only girl I know that can turn me on by stalking me. Or when you tried to get me drunk." He smiled down at her as he remembered all those times. "I don't know when I fell in love with you but I know that I want you to wake up so I can say all that to your face…when I know you can hear me."

"I'm sorry sir but your five minutes are up," the same nurse said opening the door.

"Can I have just one more minute please?" Ryan asked softly.

The nurse stared at him before nodding. "One more minute but that's it. This girl needs her rest."

Ryan waited until she closed the door behind her before finishing what he had to say. "Taylor you need to wake up so I can start making up for all the stupid things I've done in the past. I know our relationship hasn't always been everything you hoped for but I promise you…we are going to have one hell of a future."

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Julie drove up the driveway and parked the car in front of the house. She winced when she saw the damage the earthquake had done to the front lawn. She really loved this house. She only hoped the front yard had the most damage and that the inside was still livable. Julie snuck a peek at Kaitlyn who was climbing out of the SUV making her way towards the front door. They honestly had no where else to go.

"Mom look," Kaitlyn said bending over so she could pick up a present laying on the front steps. "It must have been for Taylor?"

"Maybe she dropped it when she left," Julie said as she passed her daughter opening the front door. She peered inside and relaxed when she saw the walls still standing. There was some damage, of course, but mainly to their possessions. To the naked eye the structure seemed sound.

"Oh my God Mom," Kaitlyn said stepping through the doorway. She covered her mouth with her hand when she saw the broken glass everywhere and the ruined furniture.

"It could be worse honey," Julie said quickly.

"Our stuff," Kaitlyn said quietly. She bent down picking up a picture of the two of them at one of Bullit's parties.

"They're just things," Julie said pulling her into her arms for a hug. "Just remember that we can replace almost everything."

"I know," Kaitlyn finally said after a moment of silence had passed. She looked around the room and then froze turning to look up the stairs. "My room!"

Julie watched as her daughter took off running up the stairs. She had to smile only because it was a rare occurrence for Kaitlyn to act like the teenager she really was. Usually she acted more mature than most adults. She headed towards the kitchen wondering about the damage there.

"Julie!" Summer's voice rang out from the front door minutes later.

"In here!" Julie called back. She was cleaning up the kitchen, throwing away all the broken glass and sorting through the salvageable items.

"You don't have to do that," Summer said after she realized she wasn't imagining Julie cleaning up the kitchen. "My Dad will have a company come in and fix the place right up."

"I know," Julie admitted putting her hands on her hips. "But I just…he's already done so much by letting me stay here. I wanted to try and do something for him."

"Um…Julie," Summer said smiling at her. "I don't think cleaning up after a natural disaster is the best way to pay him back." She walked towards her smiling. She took the garbage bag out of her hand and set it on the ground. "Besides, my Dad wasn't want you to pay him back. He just wants you to be happy." Summer watched as Julie looked down at her hands and smiled. "He still asks about you…you know."

"He does," Julie said surprised. After everything she'd put him through she would have thought he'd still be running in the opposite direction. She still cringed when she thought of how crazy she had been after Marissa had first died. She didn't regret feeling the pain and anger but she did regret the way she chose to deal with it…which was not dealing with it at all.

"Call him," Summer said before turning to leave the kitchen. She walked back towards the entry way in time to see Seth opening the door for his parents.

"Hey Summer," Kirsten said as she walked in one hand cradling her belly. She pulled Summer in for a hug with her other arm.

"Hey Mrs. Cohen," Summer said looking at Seth. "I thought you were headed home to get that rest the doctor told you to get."

"We did," Sandy said stepping forward. He wrapped one of his arms around his wife as he continued. "It seems that the earthquake did more damage then we thought at first." He went on to explain that there was no house.

"It's just gone!" Seth exclaimed. "I have no home."

"It's going to be okay Seth," Kirsten said smiling sympathetically at him. She'd already cried her tears when she'd walked through what was left of their house…their beautiful house. She turned when she heard somebody else walking into the room. She smiled as Julie shut her cell phone and hurried towards them.

"Sandy…Kirsten, what are you doing here?" Julie asked. She listened as Sandy told the story one more time. "Well of course you are staying here. Summer can show you to a guest room…an open guest room."

"Uh Seth," Kirsten said before she headed up the stairs. "Where's Ryan?"

"He stayed at the hospital Mom," Seth explained. "I couldn't get him to leave. He's too worried about Taylor. I tried to tell him that Veronica Townsend wasn't going to change her mind but he isn't leaving until he sees her for himself."

"I'll call," Sandy said already pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. He dialed Ryan's cell phone but hung up when he reached his voice mail. "He isn't answering."

"I don't want him staying at the hospital all night," Kirsten said concerned for her adopted son. She knew he could take care of himself, he'd been able to do that from the moment she'd met him. But she was his Mother now, in every sense of the word and she worried about him, sometimes more than she worried about Seth.

"I'll go back," Seth said sighing. He was exhausted and wanted to go to bed but he couldn't have his pregnant Mother go back to sit in a hospital waiting room for the rest of the night.

"No," Sandy said shaking his head. "Lets let him be tonight." When Kirsten looked like she was going to object he explained. "If it was you in the hospital honey, you couldn't pry me out of that waiting room. Lets let him have tonight but tomorrow we'll get him out of there." He took Kirsten's arm and lead her up the stairs into the guest room Summer was preparing for them. He knew Ryan would be okay. It was Taylor they had to worry about.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everybody! So I'm trying this new plan where I update every other day. I'm updating another story for Veronica Mars on the other days. So far it's working but we'll see how long I can keep this up. I'm feeling really inspired right now and all your reviews really helped me out. I wanted to update really fast so I can see if you all like this one just as much. Let me know what you think.**

Seth opened his eyes and groaned when he saw the sun shining in his eyes. He reached over to hit his alarm clock but instead knocked something onto the floor. He rolled over and looked at Princess Sparkle who was lying on her side on the floor. "Crap," he muttered reaching down to pick her up. If Summer found out he'd knocked her precious pony on the ground he'd never hear the end of it.

"Would you answer your damn phone already!" Summer screeched from under the covers on her side of the bed.

"Oh, is that what that noise is," Seth mumbled climbing from the bed. He rubbed his eyes trying to wake himself up as he stumbled over to his pants that were on her desk chair. He pulled the annoying phone and was looking forward to chewing out whoever had the nerve to call at 7 in the morning. But as soon as he saw Ryan's name he flipped the phone open and was wide awake.

"Please tell me you aren't still at the hospital," Seth said forgoing the usual pleasantries.

"I saw her," Ryan said and Seth straightened up looking over at Summer who had just sat up when he'd said the word hospital.

"Is she okay? Is she awake?" she asked hopefully.

"Please tell me you aren't calling from jail," Seth said picturing what might have happened the night before. Ryan sneaking into Taylor's hospital room, Veronica catching him and having him arrested.

"Seth," Summer said trying to get his attention. She'd climbed out from under the covers and was kneeling at the foot of the bed staring at him like he held all the answers.

"Would I have my cell phone if I was in jail dumbass?" Ryan asked sounding slightly annoyed.

"Hey!" Seth objected at the insult. "Excuse me for not thinking clearly at 7 in the am. I've only had like four hours of sleep thank you very much."

"Sorry, I'm not exactly thinking clearly either," Ryan said really sorry for calling Seth a dumbass. It wasn't his fault that he hadn't slept all night and that he was only allowed to see Taylor for five minutes every hour. The morning nurse had let him know that there hadn't been a change over night with sympathetic eyes. He hated sympathy, he just wanted answers. He wanted to know that she was going to be okay.

"Seth Cohen!" Summer yelled for what seemed like the hundredth time. She glared at him when he finally turned to look at her. "Is Taylor okay?"

"I don't know yet," Seth admitted but spoke quickly into the phone, "how's Taylor and speak fast before my girlfriend hits me."

"There's no change," Ryan admitted. He was standing outside in the sunlight, right outside the emergency room entrance. He wished he smoked because it would really help to have something to do to dull the nerves that were running through his body.

"No change," Seth said to Summer. He walked over and sat next to her placing one of his hands on her shoulder offering what little comfort he could. "So you snuck in and saw her huh?"

"No," Ryan said but didn't elaborate any further.

"Uh…Ryan," Seth said curiously. "I'm sensing a story here."

"Veronica let me see her," Ryan finally said his amazement evident in his voice. He still couldn't believe the ice queen had let him, the juvenile delinquent, in to see her daughter.

"No way," Seth said shocked.

"What!" Summer asked but when Seth just shook his hand at her she leaned over and pinched him, hard.

"Ow Summer!" Seth exclaimed looking at his girlfriend while he rubbed his side.

"Don't shake your hand at me," Summer warned but she climbed off the bed walking over to her closet to pick out some clothes for the day. She had to step around piles off debris from the earthquake.

There hadn't been a room spared after they'd searched the entire house but surprisingly the upstairs had minimal damage. Most of her belongings had just fallen off her shelves and bookcase. Seth had pushed them into piles the night before so they wouldn't have to worry about stepping on anything if they had to get up in the middle of the night.

"I can't believe Veronica Townsend caved," Seth said holding a hand over the spot that Summer had pinched. It still stung. "Was it your penetrating eyes…I've heard lots of comments over the years about those eyes of yours."

"No and please don't ever say penetrating eyes to me again," Ryan said shaking his head at Seth's comment. "She just walked into the waiting room and started asking me questions. After I answered them the best that I could she told me to go in and see her daughter and she left."

"Hmmm, mystery," Seth said tapping his mouth with one finger. "Maybe she hit her head during the earth quake."

"Maybe," Ryan said starting to pace again. He looked down at his watch and noted the time. He had ten more minutes and he could go in and see Taylor again. "Listen, I don't know if you planned on coming in today but if you do can you bring me some of Taylor's stuff. Her room is so empty and sterile looking. Taylor would hate it."

"Sure," Seth said watching as Summer went through her closet. "I have a feeling we'll be there within the hour."

"Great, thanks man," Ryan said walking back towards the hospital entrance.

"Yep," Seth said as he hung up.

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"Ryan!" Summer called as she saw him standing in the hallway staring in a window intently. She was dragging Seth by his hand as she hurried down the hall.

"Hey," Ryan said turning and walking towards them. "The doctor's in there now. We'll know more when he gets out. Since Veronica's not here I think he'll talk to us this time."

"How does she look?" Summer asked for everybody. Julie and Kaitlyn had tagged along when they'd heard Ryan had been let in to see Taylor the night before. They both wanted to check on the girl that had come to mean so much to the both of them.

"Like she's been in an accident," Ryan admitted. "There's been no change, none at all. But the nurse told me that that's not necessarily a bad thing."

"Maybe she just needs to rest and heal on the inside," Summer said hopefully. Her Dad was a doctor, well a plastic surgeon, but she'd grown up hearing things and she'd heard that one more than once.

"She'll be okay Ryan," Julie said smiling at him. She could see the stress and fear in his eyes whenever he glanced back at the closed door that she assumed was Taylor's room. "Taylor's a fighter."

"Yeah, she's not going anywhere," Kaitlyn spoke up. She still looked like she was half asleep standing up. She'd been planning on sleeping in but when she'd heard she could see Taylor, it had been no contest. Checking on a friend trumped sleep anytime. "She'll wake up soon."

"Can we see her? "Summer asked squeezing Seth's hand.

"As soon as the doctor's done you can go in two at a time," Ryan said turning when he heard a door open.

They all watched as the doctor and nurse walked out of the room talking as he wrote things down on Taylor's clip board. Ryan held himself back barely as he waited for them to finish their conversation.

"You're all here for Taylor," Dr. Hansen said striding down the hall towards them. "Ms. Townsend gave me permission to tell you of Taylor's condition." He looked at each of them before continuing. "Her heart is stronger and some of the swelling has gone down. We're taking her off two of the monitors and moving her to a private room upstairs." He smiled at them. "She's going to make it."

"Are you sure?" Summer and Ryan asked at the same time.

"I'm positive," he said before turning to leave. He had more patients to see and he only hoped that he could deliver good news to their families.

"Oh thank God," Julie said softly but everybody heard her. She smiled sheepishly.

"Right there with you Mom," Kaitlyn said making them all chuckle.

They all stood in the hallway half an hour later watching as a team of nurse's and orderly's transferred Taylor from ICU to a private room on the third floor. Soon they all stood outside Taylor's new door collectively taking a deep breath before they all walked in. Now that she was out of ICU they didn't have a limit on the number of people in her room.

Summer walked into Taylor's room carrying a backpack with her favorite flannel pajamas and a bunch of her personal grooming items. When Seth had told her to bring something of Taylor's it had been the first thing she'd thought of. She may not have stayed in the hospital lately but she knew everybody hated those damn gowns.

"Hey Taylor," Summer said standing on one side of the bed while Ryan stood on the other. Julie, Kaitlyn and Seth were all standing at the foot of the bed waiting their turn to say hi. "Listen, you've got to wake up so I can smack you for thinking you could just leave with only a voicemail." When Taylor didn't even move she sighed. "I brought you your favorite pajamas…remember the ones…your sleep therapist pajamas."

Ryan rolled his eyes when Kaitlyn and Julie snorted. It was everybody's favorite Taylor memory and none of them had even been there, well except Seth. That and they loved hearing about her dressing up in a groundhog costume so she could spy on him without him knowing. Taylor was definitely one of a kind.

"So just wake up…please," Summer finished. She stepped back letting Kaitlyn come forward.

"Hey girlfriend," Kaitlyn said smiling. "You so need to wake up so I can tell you how scared Ryan was. If you think for one moment that he doesn't love you you're crazy. He somehow got your Mother to let him in your hospital room."

"It's his penetrating eyes," Seth said quickly making everybody smile.

"Besides," Kaitlyn said slightly embarrassed to have everybody listening to her conversation but she forged ahead anyway. "I've already lost one big sister, I can't lose another one."

Julie had to wipe away a tear when she heard her daughter refer to Taylor as her big sister. She hadn't known she'd thought about the young girl that way but it made sense. Julie thought of her as another daughter. She'd been taking care of her for months, providing for her, listening to her talk about her life and problems. Taylor had become a huge part of their lives in a short time.

"I didn't bring you anything because Seth forgot to tell us about Ryan's idea," Kaitlyn said quickly earning herself a glare from Seth.

"I didn't know you were coming until we left," Seth grumbled but he stepped forward taking his turn.

"Yo Taylor," Seth said holding a DVD in his hands. "So I sat around thinking about the perfect thing to bring you to remind you of…well being awake and I brought you my favorite DVD." When Ryan stared at him like he wanted to smack him he quickly added, "because I know it'll drive you to wake up and tell me how dumb I am for choosing this one as my favorite."

"Hi Taylor," Julie said nudging Seth out of the way. She leaned down and stroked Taylor's bangs off her face noting all the scratches and bumps on her face like most Mother's would do when staring at somebody they considered one of theirs. "You need to wake up. Kaitlyn was right when she said you are like her big sister…you're like a daughter to me. Remember when I told you how much I missed Neil and you told me to go for it. That it would drive me nuts until I called him." Julie knew Summer was staring at her. "You were right. So now I'm going to return the favor…you need to wake up and talk to Ryan. Tell him how you feel and listen to what he has to say."

"Excuse me," somebody said from the doorway.

They all turned and stared at Veronica Townsend. She stood in the doorway dressed in jeans and a Harbor sweatshirt. None of them had ever seen her in anything other than her normal power suits. She actually looked…approachable and human.

"Veronica," Julie said taking a step forward.

"Can I talk to you…all of you?" she asked turning and walking out of the room.

They all exchanged looks but Ryan took the lead and followed Veronica to the closest waiting room. She walked over and shut the TV off from the Today show and started pacing back and forth obviously gathering her thoughts.

"Look," she started. "I haven't been the nicest person to any of you."

"Talk about stating the obvious," Kaitlyn mumbled but shut her mouth when Julie glared at her.

"Truth is I never liked any of you," Veronica admitted. When nobody looked shocked at that announcement she sighed. "I guess that was also stating the obvious." When Kaitlyn was the only one who nodded she crossed her arms over her chest. "But I do love my daughter."

"You have a strange way of showing it," Summer said glaring at her. She wasn't buying the concerned Mother bit at all. A leopard didn't change their spots, especially over night.

"I deserve that," Veronica said after she let that comment sit in her head for a moment. "I never really had a Mother. So when I found out I was pregnant I was so sure I could do it right. I knew exactly what I would do to make sure my child turned out perfect in every way."

"Perfections over-rated," Julie pointed out.

"She never measured up," Veronica went on like she hadn't said anything. "I know I was setting impossible standards and goals for her but I wanted her to be perfect. I needed her to be perfect."

"She's not perfect," Ryan said staring at her until she looked at him, just at him. "Taylor is far from perfect. She's actually pretty crazy but that's what I love about her." He could tell he had everybody's attention, even the stranger's sitting in the corner. "She's neurotic and obsessive but in a good way."

"I made her that way," Veronica admitted.

"Excuse me," a nurse said in the doorway. When they all turned to look at her she smiled at them. "You're here for Taylor Townsend…well she's waking up."


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everybody! So this chapter is mostly a filler chapter but I hope you like it anyway. Thank you so much to everybody who reviewed the last chapter. I loved reading them and I love that people really like this story. Ryan and Taylor are probably one of my favorite couples on TV ever. Writing them is so easy. So thank you for continuing to read and review every chapter. **

Veronica was the first person in the room behind the nurse. She hurried to the bed where she looked into her daughter's eyes for the first time in months. "Taylor," she murmured gently stroking her daughters face, bypassing the scratches and bruises in her way.

"Mom," Taylor croaked blinking her eyes in confusion. She looked behind her Mother and saw Ryan standing there with a worried look on his face and she squinted like she was trying to understand what was going on. "Ryan?"

"I'm here Taylor," Ryan said smiling at her. He couldn't believe that she was awake and talking to them.

"How are you feeling?" Veronica asked softly concerned because she had yet to move anything except her eyelids.

"Hurt," Taylor said quietly and then closed her eyes.

"Taylor?" Ryan asked leaning around Veronica but Taylor didn't even stir.

"Taylor!" Veronica said loudly but it was like they imagined her saying their names. She looked just like she had hours before, unconscious.

"She's just fell back to sleep," the nurse said smiling reassuringly at them. "You heard her, she's in pain."

"Give her something then," Veronica ordered but then she took a couple deep breaths and added, "please."

"I already did," the nurse explained. "It probably kicked in and that's why she fell asleep." She looked between the two and could see how worried they were and she wanted to put their minds at ease. "She'll probably wake up off and on through-out the day."

"But she's going to be okay," Veronica said having missed Doctor Hansen's briefing earlier.

"She's going to be fine," she said before putting Taylor's chart away and leaving the room.

Veronica pulled the hospital blanket up and tucked it in, making sure Taylor was comfortable. She was just doing busy work because she knew the moment she brought up what she'd been planning since the night before, nobody else in the room was going to be happy.

"I want Taylor to come home with me," Veronica stated finally getting tired of the uncomfortable silence.

"No," Summer said instantly. "You think you can just walk in here and say 'oh I've been a horrible Mom for the past 19 years but now I'm going to change'. Well you can't."

"Summer," Julie warned but knew it was a lost cause. Once Summer got something in her head there was no stopping her until she said it.

"No," Summer said stepping forward. "Taylor is coming home with us. The people who have cared about her and taken care of her for the past couple years. Us!"

"Summer," Ryan said putting his hand on her shoulder trying to calm her down. "It doesn't make sense to argue about it now." When Summer looked at him he continued. "Taylor isn't going to do anything she doesn't want to do. You know that."

"Yeah," Summer said calming down but she still shot Veronica another glare.

"Who's hungry?" Seth asked breaking the silence that had fallen after Summer's outburst. "Cause I'm hungry."

"Me 2," Kaitlyn chimed in. Soon everybody was headed to find something to eat except Veronica and Ryan.

"I'm going to stay so if you need to do anything," Veronica said pulling the chair up to the bed so she could sit down.

"Actually I need to clean up…I stayed here all night," Ryan explained running a hand through his grubby hair. He stared down at Taylor and smiled as he realized she'd wake up for good soon and then he could tell her all the things he wanted to say. "If she wakes up again…while I'm gone-"

"I'll tell her you'll be right back," Veronica said for him.

"Thanks," Ryan said turning to leave the room. He stopped and turned so he could see her face for what he had to say. "I'm not going to say that I totally buy your about face in attitude towards Taylor. Because I've seen change happen. It just takes the right moment for somebody to realize they are wrong. But I do know that I won't have Taylor thinking she's unworthy because you said something to her. She doesn't deserve that." Ryan nodded once before turning and leaving the room.

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"Ryan!" Sandy called spotting him standing in the entry way of what use to be their house.

"Sandy," Ryan said stepping over fallen beams and broken furniture. He was soon standing with Sandy staring at where the pool house use to stand. "Was anybody going to tell me that we have no house anymore?"

"We thought you had enough to deal with…with Taylor," Sandy explained.

"So where are we staying?" Ryan asked still a little shocked at what was left of their house.

"Julie's," Sandy said smiling when Ryan just stared at him. "I know, I know. But Kirsten doesn't want to stay in a hotel and we only have so many friends in Newport." He waited a couple seconds to ask the question that had been plaguing him since he'd heard about Taylor. "What are you doing, son?"

Ryan sighed as he looked down at the ground. "How am I doing?" he asked repeating the question. "Not so good," he admitted. "She's in the hospital because of me."

"No, she's in the hospital because of an earthquake," Sandy argued.

"She could have been safely inside her room or with me if I hadn't screwed things up last night," Ryan said as if Sandy hadn't said anything.

"She could have been in France if she hadn't married that French guy and run home scared," Sandy said adding his own could haves. "There's a ton of things that could have happened but this is what happened. Taylor was in an accident. It was no one's fault. She'd be the first to tell you that."

"Doesn't make it any easier," Ryan pointed out.

"Nothing's going to make this any easier," Sandy agreed. "Look at our house for instance. Kirsten cried for over an hour last night because she's going to bring a baby into the world without having a nursery to put it in."

"If she heard you call the baby and it she'd-" Ryan started to say smiling.

"Kill me, I know," Sandy said smiling back at him. "But getting back to the point…she loves this house. She designed this house."

"But you can build another one," Ryan said turning to stare at the demolished house with Sandy.

"And you can fix things with Taylor," Sandy said.

"I don't know how to fix things," Ryan said after a moment of silence passed.

"You have time to think about it," Sandy said turning his head so he could see Ryan's profile. "Besides, when you set your mind to something, you do it. Taylor doesn't stand a chance."


	10. Chapter 10

**So I'm sorry it's been a couple days since I updated but I've been having a tough time getting into Taylor's head. I think I'm finally happy with it so please let me know what you think. Thanks!**

Taylor opened her eyes and blinked rapidly trying to get rid of the blurriness. Once she could see she looked around and sighed in relief when she saw the empty room. For the past 24 hours every time she woke up either her Mother or Ryan was in the room. Once even Summer and Kaitlyn had been standing by the window talking about how crowded the house was; and since she had no idea what they were saying she'd just closed her eyes and pretended to sleep until she'd actually fallen back to sleep.

Taylor had always hated silence. She didn't like to be alone. She always needed somebody beside her or to be in a roomful of strangers. When she was surrounded by silence she ended up analyzing herself and her choices through the years and she didn't like to dwell. Her fourth therapist had always said dwelling on the past got you nowhere. It was a quote Taylor applied to her life every day.

But today Taylor embraced the silence. She wanted to reflect on her life and how she'd ended up in another hospital bed with another concussion. She hated hospitals. Not that she was afraid of them or had anything bad happen in one but she just hated hospitals. She hated being stuck in the uncomfortable bed with the headache inducing smells and the disgusting food. It was why she had been such a safety conscious kid. She'd never wanted to go to the hospital.

And now she'd been admitted to the hospital not only once but twice in one year. Both times inadvertently involved Ryan even though neither one was his fault. She'd gotten agitated on the ladder causing it to wobble and fall to the ground. Ryan's only fault had been to try and reach out to stop her, causing his own hospital visit.

But this time…it wasn't even Taylor's fault. Who could have predicted an earthquake? The entire time she'd lived in Newport Beach there had never been an earthquake. Not even a slight rumble. But somehow on her 19th birthday, there was an earthquake. Life was just not fair.

She'd wanted to get away from Newport Beach. Away from all the pain and hurt she'd been feeling the moment she'd opened that ridiculous birthday present. She'd felt like an idiot standing there holding it in her hands knowing her friends and Ryan's family were watching what should have been a special moment between Ryan and herself but it had turned into a joke.

Taylor tried to swallow the lump in her throat that had appeared the moment she'd thought of Ryan but her throat felt like she'd swallowed a cotton ball. She turned her head to grab the pitcher of water that was always waiting beside the uncomfortable hospital bed but her hand froze when she saw the picture of her and Ryan.

She'd remembered the moment it was taken. She'd been sitting staring at the beautifully decorated tree listening to them talk about how they'd hired the crew to set up the tree and most of the decorations but as a family, they'd all taken time out of their busy day and put on some ornaments. She'd never been able to do that as a child. Her Mother had always hired a decorator to come in and set up a monstrosity of a tree…that is if she was planning on being in town. More often than not she'd flitted off with her boyfriend of the moment to a foreign country. Leaving Taylor to fend for herself.

But sitting in the Cohen's living room staring at their tree she was able to pretend for a moment, that she was part of their family sharing their made up holiday Chrismmukah. And when Ryan had sat down beside her and put his arm around her back and whispered to her the present he'd gotten Seth…she couldn't even remember what he'd said…she'd tilted her head towards him smiling as his breath had tickled her ear. That's when Kirsten had snapped the picture.

Taylor turned her head in the opposite direction as she blinked rapidly this time clearing the tears from her eyes. She didn't want to remember the happy times. The times where she'd been able to picture a future with him. Where she'd let herself dream that stupid child wishes could come true.

"God I'm an idiot," Taylor whispered raising her hand without the IV to her face. She gently fingered the throbbing spot on her head and winced when it sent a searing flash of pain through her head.

She couldn't remember much about the accident. She'd heard bits and pieces over the past couple days when she'd come in and out but not the whole story. She did remember the moment before the taxi had flown through the guard rail. She couldn't admit to thinking about anything profound, just that Oh Shit moment that one got before they knew something bad was going to happen.

And that was it. Not another thing until she'd woke up in the hospital bed. She really wanted the whole story. She wanted to know if anybody had gotten hurt. If the cab driver was okay. She wanted to know if she was going to be okay.

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Veronica walked back into the hospital after running home to meet the contractor she'd hired to fix the damage to her beautiful house the earthquake had caused. She'd had to promise to grossly overpay him to get him to start right away but if she was going to bring her daughter home, well, they needed a decent place to stay.

She smiled politely at the nurse who'd helped her reach her moment of insight on what a terrible Mother she was. She still wasn't comfortable talking to her. It still felt like she knew that she sucked as a parent and that she was judging her. She'd already had enough with people judging her, even if most of their judgments were based on fact.

She pushed open Taylor's hospital door her eyes immediately going to the bed but instead of the sleeping girl who'd been there since she'd arrived at the hospital after she was first admitted, she was met with wide open eyes.

"Taylor," Veronica said softly frozen in place wondering at what kind of reception she was about to get. They hadn't exactly parted on good terms the last time they'd saw each other. In fact, it had been in another hospital room and her daughter had told her to go on vacation with her boyfriend instead of spending Christmas with her. She really did need to work on the Mother thing.

"Mom," Taylor croaked her throat still dry. She hadn't been able to look at the table again, knowing that damn picture was still sitting there waiting to rip more tears out of her. She waited for her Mother to say something, anything but she just stood there staring at her and Taylor finally rolled her eyes. "Can you get me some water please?" she asked wincing at her sore throat.

"Oh sure sure," Veronica said quickly. She set her purse down in the chair as she grabbed the pitcher of water and poured Taylor a glass. She held it up with the ever present bendy straw they provided and watched as her daughter drank by herself for the first time.

"Thanks," Taylor said her voice slightly better. She stared at her Mother and watched as she straightened everything on the table, even the picture. "What are you doing here?"

Veronica closed her eyes for a moment, gathering what little composure she had against her daughter's obvious confusion with her being at her bedside. "You're in the hospital, where else would I be?" she finally asked flippantly.

"Anywhere else," Taylor said honestly.

"I deserve that," Veronica admitted crossing over to the chair so she could sit down for a conversation that was long over due. "Do you know where I was during the earthquake Taylor?" Veronica asked softly looking down at her hands.

"No," Taylor said even more confused.

"I was at a very important dinner," Veronica said smiling as she shook her head. "I was wining and dining a potential client. He is going somewhere and I wanted to take him places. We were just about to head upstairs to his hotel room when the earthquake hit." Veronica shuddered as she remembered the pang of fear that had rushed through her. "Do you know what was running through my mind as everybody was screaming and running for safety even though we had no idea where to go?"

"No," Taylor said again.

"I was terrified I was going to lose my house," Veronica said laughing at how dumb she was. "Here I had a daughter going through a car accident and all I was worried about was my damn house."

"It's a beautiful house," Taylor commented wanting to smile when Veronica glared at her. "Sorry." Truth was she hated that house. It was too big for two people and she always thought it was just a show place. It wasn't a home.

"Just let me finish this," Veronica said determined to get it all out. "It was almost an hour later when Seth and Julie found me." She stood up so she could pace back and forth. "I was annoyed that once again you were in a hospital and who was involved but the Cohen's and that boy."

"It wasn't their fault," Taylor said quietly but her voice was firm. She didn't want her Mother being rude to Sandy and Kirsten or Ryan. It honestly wasn't their fault.

"I know that," Veronica said shocking her. "But I walked into that waiting room and let them have it. I made an idiot of myself. Telling them I knew what was best for my daughter." She stared at Taylor and for the first time, Taylor saw sorrow in her eyes. "When I don't even know you at all."

"Mom," Taylor said softly. She knew she should be saying I told you so. She should be full of righteous anger and be telling her off for every bad thing she'd said to her over the years. But Veronica was beating herself up enough for the both of them. Besides, she was still her Mom.

"Which your boyfriend made obvious," Veronica added so softly Taylor barely heard her.

"Who?" Taylor asked confused but then the light dawned. "When did you talk to Ryan?"

"The night you were brought in," Veronica told her. "Ryan introduced me to my daughter."

"Really," Taylor said sarcastically. She really wished she would have been awake and a fly on the wall for that conversation. "I can't imagine what he told you."

"He seems to know you really well Taylor," Veronica said surprised by her tone of voice.

"I use to think so," Taylor agreed smiling sadly as she glanced at the photograph once again. "But now I'm not so sure."

"Taylor," Veronica said walking over to the bed. "I've been here, with him, for the past couple days. He's been pacing the hallway, you room, the waiting room. He's been completely devoted to staying here so you wouldn't be alone." Veronica sighed before continuing. "I wish I had someone in my life that cared that much."

"He's really good at caring one moment and then he flips a switch and gives you a freakin dictionary for your birthday," Taylor said starting off quietly but by the end of the sentence she was near yelling.

"I'm not going to even pretend I understand that," Veronica said shaking her head. "But whatever happened…before the accident…let it go. That boy cares about you, a lot. He's the one who found you. Went looking for you when he had no clue where you were."

"What?" Taylor said confused.

"He found you, in the woods," Veronica explained. "He carried you out of the woods and took you to the hospital when an ambulance couldn't get to you fast enough. He wouldn't leave until somebody told him what your condition was."

"He rescued me," Taylor said but instead of seeming even a little happy about it, she looked destroyed.

"Yeah," Veronica said slowly, drawing the word out into two syllables.

"I just…" Taylor said trailing off. 'Never wanted him to have to save me,' she finished in her head. Out loud she said, "I'm surprised to hear you praising him. I thought you considered him a hoodlum who needed to go back to where he came from."

"I did," Veronica admitted. "But I also use to be a bitch. Well, I'm actually still a bitch but I'm working on it."

Taylor stared at her Mom and she wanted to pinch herself to see if this was really happening. Ever since she was a little girl she wanted a Mom who actually cared about her. Who didn't want to change her. Now as an adult it looked like her wish was going to be answered.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everybody! Thank you to everybody who reviewed the last chapter. I hope you like this one just as much. :)**

Ryan walked into the hospital carrying the biggest stuffed dog he'd found at the toy store. He really hoped that she didn't think it was stupid and cheesy but he'd wanted to get her something she could cuddle and he remembered her saying once how she liked dogs the best. That it was the only animal she knew of that loved you unconditionally. At the time he'd barely registered what she'd said but now he knew that she'd been saying nobody had ever loved her unconditionally.

He froze when he reached the door. He could hear Veronica talking inside but he knew Seth and Summer weren't here and Julie and Kaitlyn were with Sandy and Kirsten. Then he heard her voice "_He's really good at caring one moment and then he flips a switch and gives you a freakin dictionary for your birthday." _

"She's awake," he mumbled to himself. He stepped back blindly turning so he was leaning against the wall and then lowered himself until he was sitting on the floor. He'd been waiting for this moment since the Doctor had said she'd be okay but now that she was awake and talking, he was terrified.

He'd heard the pain and anger in her voice. She was still angry. She had every right to be angry. He'd been an idiot and he had to apologize…somehow. Ryan looked at the dog and grimaced. He would have felt better if he could have given her the dog while she was still sleeping so when she woke up she would just have seen the stuffed animal. But now he'd have to give a reason and he wasn't sure he had a reason, or at least a good one. He just wanted to see her smile when she woke up.

He sat there for another minute trying to get the courage to walk into that hospital room and face the woman he loved more than anyone. But realized that he was just going to have to face the music. Taylor was going to be angry and when she got angry she got defensive and standoffish. It was just her way.

He stood up and pretended to wipe the imaginary dirt from his pants which was just another delaying tactic. He picked the dog up off the floor and took one last deep breath before turning the doorknob and opening the door.

Ryan stared at Taylor in the moment before she noticed it was him in the doorway. She was staring at her Mother in surprise and unease. She wasn't sure if her Mother's change of heart was a for sure thing and it was written all over her face. But then she turned her head and saw Ryan and he saw the wall come down. Blocking every thought and feeling from his eyes.

"Hey Taylor," Ryan said attempting to smile but he knew it came out like a grimace. He walked farther into the room and looked around desperately trying to think of something else to say.

"Well I've got things to do," Veronica said quickly heading towards the door. As she passed Ryan she whispered, "good luck." Ryan turned his head surprised to hear those words coming out of the mouth of the one person he was sure hated him. Even if she'd changed her mind about Taylor, that didn't mean she had to like him.

"I guess I should say thank you," Taylor said breaking into his thoughts surprising him. She waited until he was facing her once again before continuing. "So thank you."

"For?" Ryan asked walking around the foot of the bed until he was standing beside the chair. He was about to sit down when he changed his mind and set the stuffed dog in the chair instead.

"For saving me," Taylor said simply. "It seems Marissa and I have more in common than I thought."

"Oh Taylor," Ryan said shaking his head.

"No it's okay Ryan," Taylor said quickly before he could say anything else. "I've said time and again that I'm not Marissa. That I can't be her for you and what do I do. Put myself in a situation where you need to come rescue me. If that's not Marissa than I don't know what is." She covered her mouth after she said that having not meant to say it. "I'm sorry Ryan, that wasn't fair. Marissa was-is…she-" she rambled scrambling for the right word to describe his ex-girlfriend.

"Marissa was a mess," Ryan said for her. "She put herself in stupid situations and then relied on me and the other people in her life to save her and fix her life for her. You are not like that."

"Well I'm still sorry," Taylor said smiling sadly at him. "When I left that night, I wanted to give us space. But instead I gave you more reasons to doubt…whatever we had."

"We had a relationship Taylor," Ryan said stepping forward.

"No we didn't," Taylor denied shaking her head.

"How can you say that?" Ryan asked hurt that she would deny something that he knew was true. They had had a relationship. Albeit a complicated and confusing one at times but a relationship none-the-less.

"Because it's true!" Taylor cried out. But then closed her eyes when the pain from yelling went straight to her head where a headache had already formed.

"Look Taylor," Ryan said calming down when he saw that talking loudly caused her pain. He didn't want her to get worked up. "I am sorry about your birthday. It was me being dumb, no an idiot, no even worse, a moron." When she just stared at him he sighed. "I just got scared."

"I know you did," Taylor said. "But that's just proving my point. You aren't ready for a serious relationship. I knew that when I started pursuing you. So it's my mistake, not yours. I pushed you too fast and I'm sorry for that. But now it's time to just take a step back."

"I don't want to take a step back," Ryan said but from the look on Taylor's face she wasn't going to change her mind anytime soon.

"I do," Taylor said staring at him.

Neither said anything else just stared into each other's eyes. Ryan trying desperately to relay his feelings with just a look but Taylor wasn't buying it. They were interrupted when the door opened and one of the nurses came in talking a mile a minute. Ryan looked down at the floor before turning and walking from the room. She wasn't going to listen to anything he had to say.

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"Seth!" Ryan called walking into Summer's house. He could hear his brother laughing from the living room and immediately headed in that direction. He didn't stop until he was in front of the TV where he shut off the video game he was trying to teach Summer how to play. Kaitlyn was on the other chair making sarcastic comments but sat up when she saw Ryan's face.

"Hey!" Seth cried out staring at him. "We were playing that!"

"I need your help," Ryan said pacing in front of him.

"Ryan what's wrong?" Summer asked sitting forward. "Is it Taylor?"

"She's awake," Ryan said shaking his head.

"But that's a good thing," Summer said confused. "Isn't it?"

"Uh oh," Kaitlyn said making a face. "She's still pissed about the birthday present isn't she?"

"Just a little," Ryan said still pacing away.

"How can we help?" Seth asked tossing the remote control on the coffee table.

"Remember how you always come to me needing help with whatever lame plan you have to get back into Summer's good graces," Ryan said before walking over and sitting down in one of the empty chairs.

"No," Seth lied.

"Well I need one of your lame plans," Ryan said taking a deep breath.

"Ooh ooh," Seth said but quit when Summer elbowed him in the stomach. "Okay, what sort of awesome plan do you need?"

"Something to get Taylor to see that I love her," Ryan said simply.

"Hmmm," Seth said steepling his fingers as he tried to come up with something that could win Taylor over.

"Why him?" Summer asked ticked off. "I am a girl, I'd be the better person to go to for something like this."

"Shh," Seth said patting her knee. "Let the professional handle this."

Summer glared at him before turning to face Ryan. "Why don't you do whatever lame-ass plan Cohen has and when it doesn't work, come see me." She stood up and walked from the room and Seth stood up and followed her quickly.

"I have an even better idea," Kaitlyn said from her seat.

"What's that?" Ryan asked curiously.

"Come to me when tweedle dee and tweedle dumb's plans fail and I'll get Taylor back for you," she said smiling at him. She should have just told him right away what he should do but it was going to be fun to see what Seth and Summer came up with.


	12. Chapter 12

"Are you kidding me Cohen?" Summer asked her boyfriend with her hands on her hips.

"Yeah Seth…isn't this a little…juvenile," Kaitlyn agreed making a face.

"It's foolproof," Seth insisted. "Making Taylor her own alter ego in a comic book hero is perfect."

"Perfect?" Ryan asked skeptically. He was beginning to think he should have taken Summer's advice first. It had been days since he'd seen or heard from Taylor. He got updates from Kaitlyn and Summer who saw her everyday at her Mom's house. She'd moved back in there after the hospital released her, wanting to see if she could salvage some sort of relationship with her Mom.

"Once Taylor gets here she'll be so happy that I…er….you thought of a super hero name for her she'll forget all about dictionaries and messed up birthdays," Seth said putting the final touches on Taylor's super hero.

"But The Healer," Kaitlyn said referring to the name Seth had given her.

"Yes, Taylor has super healing powers…I mean look what she did for us," Seth pointed out. "She brought Ryan back from almost becoming a criminal again and she helped Summer become Summer again. Plus she's really helped you and your Mom deal with….your grief. I think Taylor has healing abilities." Seth stood there for a moment letting them take that all in before he added, "Besides, it was my plan and I get to name her whatever I want."

"You had to add that didn't you?" Summer said shaking her head but she had a smile on her face. Seth liked to think he didn't like Taylor but deep down, he did.

"So when is she suppose to be here," Ryan said looking at the clock above the counter.

"Ten minutes," Seth said handing Ryan everything he would need to woo Taylor back into his arms. "Now Remember how I did this months ago….you just have to do the same thing with Taylor."

"I get it Seth," Ryan said rolling his eyes. He watched as they all filed out the back door not wanting to get caught by Taylor if she happened to come early, which she usually did.

Ryan stood back, so Taylor couldn't spot him through the window. This plan was only going to work if she came all the way into the store and he was afraid is she spotted him she'd bolt.

"Seth!" Taylor called making her way slowly into the comic book store. It was hard maneuvering the door with her crutches but she smiled when she successfully made it into the store. She frowned as she looked around and realized the store was empty. "That's strange," she mumbled then jumped when Ryan walked into her line of vision.

"I had Seth get you here," he said softly taking small baby steps towards her. "I didn't think you'd meet me if I just asked."

"Ryan," Taylor said already getting ready to leave.

"No, can you just wait a minute," Ryan said walking over to the overhead projector so he could set the sheets of paper down. "I want to show you something." He put the first sheet down and waited silently for the door to still open and shut behind her but when it didn't he turned to find her still standing there. "Thank you."

He hit the button and he watched as she went from staring at him to the wall where a cartoon version of Taylor appeared. He could see her brow furrow like she was trying to figure out what that picture meant. He placed the second sheet down and it was Taylor in a superhero outfit with her superhero name The Healer.

"You see Taylor," Ryan started to say. "You have this ability to heal everybody around you. It doesn't matter if they don't want to be healed or how much they fight it…once you are around them, they have no choice."

"So I make you move on when you don't want to," Taylor said her voice oddly flat. "Gee thanks Ryan, for pointing out what I already know."

"That's not what I meant Taylor," Ryan said skipping the next couple sheets so he could put down one that would make his point. "Do you see these people? That's Summer and Kaitlyn. And here's Julie and me." He said quickly changing sheets. "That was us before you came back into our lives. We weren't happy. We weren't even pretending to be happy. Well some of us tried too but we didn't do a good job of it," Ryan said referring to Summer.

"Ryan," Taylor said softly. "I get what you're trying to say but I can't be that girl anymore. Do you know how tiring it is trying to help everybody around you?"

"It's who you are," Ryan argued.

"I know that," Taylor agreed surprising him. "But I'm sick of being that girl. I'm sick of caring about everybody else's problems and dealing with their baggage and none of my own. I mean, I go after guys who I know can't possibly be ready for serious relationships because of my past. I try to be best friends with people who already had the best of friend."

"What are you talking about?" Ryan asked.

"My whole life I have always been second best in everything," Taylor said sadly. "I'm done with it. For once I want to be the first. And I can't be that with you."

Ryan watched her walk out of the comic book store and he just stood there staring off into space, at the last spot she had stood in. After a couple minutes went by he pulled out his phone and dialed. "Hey Summer, I think I'm going to need your help now."


	13. Chapter 13

**So people have already predicted who's plan is going to be the one that works so this chapter might not come as a surprise to some. But I want you to know that this story really has one possibly two more chapters left. That's it. BUT I have started another story. It's a story from when Ryan first comes to Newport, season 1 rewrite basically with Townwood interaction. I have the first chapter written already. I don't know if I should wait to post it until I'm done with this one completely or if I should post it now. So let me know your thoughts. **

**I know Taylor is frustrating people right now but that's Taylor. She's confused right now and she doesn't want to just go back to him without knowing for sure that he loves her. Which he hasn't gotten across to her yet. But he will! Stay tuned for the next chapter. :)**

"So a romantic dinner is your great idea," Kaitlyn said standing in the kitchen doorway. She was staring at her Mother and Summer who were frantically trying to finish dinner since Taylor would be here in less than an hour.

"Taylor loves romantic dinners," Summer said defensively.

"Yeah, she loves to cook them and throw them," Kaitlyn pointed out.

"She will love this I promise Ryan," Summer said turning to Ryan who was leaning against the counter watching the two woman make a mess of the kitchen.

"She'd love it more-" Kaitlyn started to say but stopped when Summer whipped around to face her.

"If you aren't going to help why don't you just leave," Summer said glaring at her.

"Yes honey, why don't you make the salad?" Julie said apologizing for Summer's loss of temper with her eyes.

"Great," Kaitlyn said but she walked over to the pile of vegetables and started washing them.

"What did you say to get her here?" Ryan asked curiously.

"I just told her that I needed a girl's night because Seth was busy and Kaitlyn was out with Julie," Summer said checking the pasta to see if it was ready.

"She's going to be mad when she sees me instead of you," Ryan said softly.

"Only for a moment but once you tell her what she wants to hear, she'll be fine," Summer said shaking her head at him.

"But what does she want to hear?" Ryan asked confused. He'd tried to tell her three days ago with Seth's bright plan but it had backfired on him. Instead of falling into his arms like Seth had predicted, she'd stormed out of the Comic Book Store. He hadn't even gotten a chance to say the three words that meant so much. But even if he had, he wasn't sure she would have believed him.

"I can't tell you what to say Ryan," Summer said rolling her eyes. Guys were so thickheaded sometimes. "You know what you have to say."

"I do," Ryan said rhetorically. He looked out the window at the darkening sky and admitted to himself, he had no idea what to say to Taylor.

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Taylor climbed into the passenger side of her Mom's car. She couldn't wait to get to Summer's for what should be a great girl's night. She could really use one. Not that her Mom was being mean and disrespectful like she used to be. No, now she was driving her nuts with the concerned protective Mother bit. They were going to have to find a healthy balance between the two.

There was so much she had to tell Summer. But first she wanted to find out how Ryan was doing. She hadn't seen him since she'd left him standing in the Comic Book Store. She felt bad for just leaving when he was obviously trying to make a point but she wasn't ready. She didn't want to forgive him, not that he had to be forgiven. It wasn't his fault that he wasn't ready for anything serious. Nor was it her fault for falling for a guy who was obviously in love with somebody else. It was just one big mess.

Plus the whole comic book thing had Seth written all over it. He'd drawn her as a super hero. The Healer. It was a nice gesture but she didn't want to be reminded that she was always fixing everybody's lives around her but that she couldn't fix her own.

Summer was the only person she could ask that would be honest with her…besides Kaitlyn. But she didn't want brutal honesty which the young teen was known for, she just wanted somebody to tell her that she was making the right decision by not just chasing after Ryan again. They both needed to think about things. Summer was sure to agree with her.

Veronica pulled into Summer's driveway and put the car in park as she watched her daughter climb slowly out of the car. "Now be careful tonight. The doctor said to take it easy."

"It's just a girl's night Mom," Taylor said rolling her eyes.

"Be careful," Veronica said again waiting until Taylor had climbed the front steps and walked in the front door.

"Summer!" Taylor called standing in the foyer. She really hoped she wasn't upstairs because climbing stairs was really difficult and Summer's house had a ton. She stopped and turned towards the kitchen when she heard music playing from that direction. She walked through the doorway and froze when she saw Ryan standing beside the dining room table which had a dinner set for two and candles lit.

"What is this?" Taylor asked softly leaning heavily on her crutches.

"It's a romantic dinner," Ryan replied, "for two."

"Where is Summer?" Taylor asked praying that she was close.

"With Seth," Ryan said watching as Taylor took a deep breath like she was preparing to say something. "Can I just say something before you yell at me or walk away?"

Taylor stared at him and she was taken back to that moment after he'd read the poem he'd written in front of the book store full of customers. He'd had that same look in his eyes. Like he was pleading for something, for her to just understand without him having to say anything. She finally nodded so he could say what he had to say.

"I messed up with the comic book thing," Ryan started off. "I know that now. But you can't stop healing people Taylor." He took a step toward her as he tried to make her understand. "Sandy told me once that saving people, getting them out of jams is what I do. Well you heal people, help them get through tough situations. You can't stop doing that."

"I know," Taylor said softly. She wanted to, she wished she could but she knew she couldn't. As soon as she saw the next person who couldn't handle their current situation, she'd try and fix it for them. It was who she was.

"Okay," Ryan said taking a deep breath. "Okay then." He glanced behind him at the table and added, "would you please have dinner with me tonight?"

"Ryan," Taylor said shaking her head at him. She looked at the table and she felt her heart melting. He'd really planned it out well. The table was set beautifully. And the food smelt delicious. She felt herself being drawn in but his next words stopped her.

"Please Taylor," Ryan pleaded. "I really need to talk to you. I thought…actually Summer planned this."

"Summer planned this," Taylor said crutching back a step.

"It was her idea," Ryan hurried to explain. "But it was-"

"Seth planned the comic book thing and Summer planned the dinner," Taylor said interrupting him. She couldn't believe this. He couldn't even plan an evening for the two of them, he had other people do it for him. "Ryan…I can't stay for dinner. In fact, I've gotta go."

"Taylor would you please stay," Ryan said following her towards the door.

"No Ryan," Taylor said going as fast as she could with her crutches. "I told you I needed time and space."

Ryan stopped and watched as she opened the door and shut it loudly behind her. He hung his head as he walked back to the dining room. He'd failed again. He didn't know what to do or say to make her listen to him. He never even got a chance to tell her that he did love her. Every time he opened his mouth the wrong thing came out.

Taylor stood outside on the front stoop staring out at the empty driveway. She knew she made the right decision in leaving. But a part of her wanted to go back inside and forgive him and just go back to being Ryan and Taylor. Go back to the smiling happy couple who ignored the large elephant in the room. But she didn't want to do that. She was in love with Ryan Atwood. She wanted all of him, or nothing at all.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey everybody! So there is going to be one more chapter after this one. I really liked writing this chapter and I hope you do too. Thank you for all the reviews. **

"You told her I planned the dinner!" Summer exclaimed pacing back and forth in front of Ryan and Seth who were sitting on the Cohen's living room couch staring at her. "Why would you do such a stupid thing?"

"You did plan the dinner," Ryan told her.

"She didn't have to know that," Summer said whipping around to face him. "God Atwood, I thought Seth was the relationship retard."

"Hey, I resent that," Seth finally said. He crossed his arms over his chest and pouted as he stared at his girlfriend.

"Seth," Summer said staring at him until his face flushed and he quit pouting. "I thought so. Now it was obvious that Seth had planned the comic book thing but the dinner, that could have been all you."

"Really Summer," Seth said smirking. "You think Taylor would have honestly believed that Ryan spent hours slaving in the kitchen making a complicated pasta dinner?"

"It could have happened," Summer still insisted.

"No Seth is right," Ryan said standing up. "Taylor never would have believed I cooked that dinner."

"Well than what are you going to do then?" Summer asked sitting down beside Seth.

"Honestly," Ryan said staring at them. "I don't know." He turned and walked out the patio door and headed towards the pool house. He'd finished cleaning up after the so-called romantic dinner, came home and been ambushed by Summer who couldn't believe her fool proof plan didn't work. He walked through his bedroom door and froze in the doorway.

Kaitlyn looked up from her position on Ryan's bed. She had the TV on and she was watching one of those reality shows that was supposedly about the real Orange County except it wasn't. Nothing could really capture how weird Newport Beach really was. She loved making fun of the show. "Hey Ryan," she said turning down the volume.

"Kaitlyn," Ryan said looking behind him making sure he'd entered the right pool house. "What are you doing in here?"

"The better question is," Kaitlyn said sitting up facing him. "Is what are you doing here…so early?" She looked at the clock and then looked back at him, arching one eyebrow.

"The dinner didn't go exactly the way Summer planned," Ryan admitted walking towards her.

"I could have told you that," Kaitlyn said moving over so he could sit down beside her.

"I should have known you'd say I told you so," Ryan said chuckling.

"Look Ryan," she said turning her body towards him. "Over a week ago you gave me some good advice and told me that you'd always be my brother. Well, as your 'sister'-she used air quotes- "I need to tell you that you have been going about this whole Taylor thing all wrong."

"Is this where you tell me your big plan," Ryan said laying back so he could stare at his ceiling. "Because I gotta tell you, I don't think any of these plans are going to work."

"You haven't heard my plan yet," Kaitlyn pointed out.

"Okay," Ryan said taking a deep breath. "What's your grand plan?"

"Do you love her?" Kaitlyn asked staring at him.

"What," Ryan said momentarily confused. "Of course I love her. I love her more than I've ever loved…" he trailed off uncomfortably.

"Marissa," Kaitlyn finished for him. She nudged him with her knee and gave him a smile. "It's okay Ryan. I already knew that. Taylor's much better for you anyway."

"I know she is," Ryan said sitting up again. "If you would have told me two years ago that I'd be in love with Taylor Townsend and having to fight to keep her…I don't know what I would have said."

"I would have said you were crazy…then," Kaitlyn said chuckling with him. "But now, you two fit Ryan."

"Yeah," Ryan agreed. But then he sighed and looked at her. "But she doesn't see it that way." He paused a moment before adding, "so what's your great plan for getting Taylor to listen to me. Hogtie her and duct tape her mouth shut so she can't interrupt me?" When Kaitlyn glared at him he smiled at her. "Just seems like something you'd think up."

"No Ryan, my advice has nothing to do with Taylor actually…it has to do with you," Kaitlyn said standing up. "Do you know why Seth and Summer's plans failed? Because they didn't come from you. Taylor isn't an idiot, she knows when you've thought something up or when somebody else has."

"But I don't have any good ideas," Ryan said softly. "If it was up to me I'd just ask her to come over so we could talk…no lying saying it's to meet Seth or Summer. I'd order dinner in and just talk."

"That's what you should do then," Kaitlyn said smiling. "Taylor will love it."

"It's so simple though," Ryan said thinking of how un-simple Taylor was.

"But it's coming from you," Kaitlyn said walking towards the door. "That's all that matters."

Ryan watched Kaitlyn leave the pool house and he looked down at the phone in his lap. He didn't think she'd answer if he called, he was positive she wouldn't answer but he still had to try.

"Hey Taylor…it's me…Ryan," he said softly.

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"I know I'm the last person you want to talk to but…there's some things I need to say." Taylor sat in her bedroom listening to the voice message that Ryan had left moments earlier. "I've been trying to say them for days but…I just wanted to ask if you could come over…when you get this. To the pool house. If you don't like what I have to say then you can leave and I'll give you all the time and space you need…I swear. I just…I need to see you Taylor. Please, come."

Taylor closed her phone slowly and set it down on the bed in front of her. She stared at it as she tried to think of what to do. She'd just gotten home from the non-girl's night turned out to be a romantic dinner that wasn't. The whole ride home had been silent, Taylor having warned her Mom that she didn't want to talk. She'd wanted complete silence and as soon as they'd gotten home she 'd hobbled to her bedroom and hid herself away so she could cry once again.

Except, Ryan had called before she could start her crying fest and now she was keyed up again. Should she or shouldn't she go meet him again. There wasn't any lying this time. He'd been up front that he needed to see and talk to her.

"Are you okay?" Veronica asked from the doorway.

"Ahhh…no," Taylor said honestly. She looked down at the phone and then back at her Mom. "Ryan called…he wants me to meet him at the pool house."

"Pool house," Veronica said confused.

"It's his bedroom at the Cohen's," Taylor explained. "He has something he has to say…to me."

"So…what do you think?" Veronica asked walking into the room.

"I think…I don't know what to do," Taylor said. "How can I have all the answers for everybody else but when it comes to my own life I don't know what to do?"

"Answering other people's problems is easier," Veronica said sitting down beside her daughter.

"It's just…he hurt me…a lot," Taylor said softly speaking from her heart. She'd never really told her Mom the whole story, having lived through it the first time was bad enough but now she could use her Mom's input. "He told me he loved me and then basically took it back the next day…on my birthday."

"Asshole," Veronica said wishing Ryan was in the room right now so she could yell at him.

"Hey at least he was there for my birthday," Taylor said automatically defending him. She closed her eyes and her face flushed. "Sorry…I've been defending him since I started chasing him, it's a hard habit to break."

"You chased him," Veronica said shaking her head at her daughter. "Didn't I always tell you to make the guy work for it."

"That only works if guys are interested," Taylor said rolling her eyes. "Besides, if he hadn't kissed me I'd never have known that we had something."

"Wait," Veronica said confused again. "I thought you chased him but now you're saying he kissed you."

Taylor explained to her Mom about her French husband and how he wasn't going to grant her a divorce until Ryan. "He just showed up and pushed between me and Henri-Michel's lawyer and kissed me." Taylor smiled as she touched her lips with her fingertips. "I think I started falling for him at that moment. The man can kiss."

"So then you started dating," Veronica said drawing her own conclusions which were wrong like usual.

"No," Taylor said laughing. "I don't think you could say we started dating until after New Years and even then I'm not sure you could call it dating." She frowned as she thought back over their complicated relationship. "I don't know if I was anything more than a rebound thing for Ryan."

"Now that's not true," Veronica stated loudly surprising Taylor. "That boy that brought you to the hospital after having saved you from that car crash. That sat in the waiting room knowing I wasn't going to let him see you no matter what. He's in love with you Taylor…or at least in the process of falling for you."

"I don't know," Taylor said softly. "If anything that whole night probably reminded him of every time he saved-"

"Marissa Cooper," Veronica said for her. She looked down at her hands before she continued. "I don't know Ryan but I do know you. And he could never for one moment confuse you with Marissa."

"I know I'm not like her," Taylor said sitting up straighter. "I like to think that I'm a little more grounded in reality." When her Mom just stared at her she sighed. "So okay, my reality isn't exactly normal but at least I don't drink and do drugs."

"You better not, I would kill you," Veronica said making them both smile. "I know you probably don't care what I have to say but if you want my advice…I'd go."

"But Mom," Taylor said softly but she was cut off.

"I'd go and hear what he has to say," Veronica said standing up. "If you don't, you're going to wonder what he would have said for the rest of your life." When Taylor closed her eyes she smiled knowing she'd won. "I'll be in the car."


	15. Chapter 15

**So this is the end. Thank you to everybody who reviewed!**

Seth sat on the couch beside Summer while Kaitlyn and him shot insults back and forth. It was actually a good time. He opened his mouth to fire one back at her when the doorbell rang. "Ooooh Cooper, saved by the bell," he said getting up to answer the door.

"Yeah whatever," Kaitlyn said rolling her eyes.

Seth opened the door and stared at Taylor who was standing there looking like she was ready to bolt, crutches and all. "Taylor…what are you doing here?"

"I…Ryan," was all she said looking down at her feet. She still wasn't sure if coming was a good idea but until Ryan said what he had to say, he'd never leave her alone so she could start getting over him.

"Is in the pool house," Seth said stepping back so she could enter the foyer. He lead the way back to the living room and Taylor paused as Summer and Kaitlyn both sat up staring at her in surprise.

"Taylor!" Summer said shocked.

"Yeah I'm here to see Ryan," Taylor said sounding more like she was gathering her courage then letting them know why she was there.

"He's in the pool house," Kaitlyn said smiling at her. When Taylor just stared at her she nodded her head towards the patio doors. There was no way she was leaving without talking to Ryan, Kaitlyn would see to that.

Taylor nodded and crutched her way to the patio doors where Seth was holding it open. He shut it quietly behind her and walked slowly back to the couch where he plopped down beside Summer.

"I am amazing," Summer said smiling at her boyfriend.

"How?" Seth asked but the quickly added, "you are amazing but in this case…how?"

"My dinner worked," Summer said getting up so she could go into the kitchen and spy from the window. "I knew my plan would kick your plan's ass."

"We don't know that it was your dinner that brought her here," Seth said following her.

"We know it wasn't your lame comic book," Summer pointed out.

"It was not lame," Seth argued. "If I could have had more time and if I was able to present it better-"

"Seth, it was lame," Kaitlyn said rolling her eyes. She was still smiling but she was the only one who knew that it was her pep talk that had gotten Ryan to act like himself which had gotten Taylor over here.

"That's it," Seth said stalking out of the room. "I am getting the comic book and showing you how I would have presented it." Summer just mumbled something but she was craning her neck trying to see into the pool house.

"What's going on?" Kaitlyn asked stepping up beside her.

"Taylor's just standing outside the door," Summer said quietly like she thought Taylor could actually hear her.

"She better go in there," Kaitlyn warned.

"Oh she's knocking," Summer whispered quickly.

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Ryan laid on his bed with his eyes closed listening to the CD Taylor had made him of all her favorite songs. He'd put number one on repeat so Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun was playing over and over. He hated the song but playing it made it seem like Taylor was in the room. He could already see her singing and dancing like an idiot. God he missed her.

He groaned when somebody knocked on the door. "Go away Seth!" he yelled covering his face with his hands. He'd already knocked twice asking if Ryan was okay and if he'd come join him so he wouldn't be outnumbered by the girls.

"It's not Seth," Taylor said softly from the doorway.

When she'd first walked up to the door she could hear the music blaring all the way outside. She'd smiled as she heard the chorus to her favorite song. She'd put it on the CD she'd made him as a joke knowing he'd never listen to it unless she was there. But then the song had ended and started up again. He was listening to a chick song over and over. That wasn't like Ryan. So she knocked.

Hearing him yell at Seth to go away had almost made her turn away. He didn't sound like he was in a good mood. But then she stiffened her spine and opened the door. Her heart had melted at the sight of him laying on his bed with his hands covering his face.

Ryan opened his eyes and lowered his hands at the same time. He sat up and stared at her standing in his doorway. She looked exactly the same as when she was standing in the Robert's dining room but he thought she looked even more beautiful.

"Taylor," he said softly.

"I got your message," Taylor said hobbling farther into the pool house so she could shut the door behind her.

"Here," Ryan said standing up. He gestured towards the chair or the bed, "sit down."

"Thanks," Taylor said softly as she made her way to the bed, which was closer. She sat down and took the weight off her foot.

"How are you feeling?" Ryan asked when he saw her wince as she set her crutches off to the side of the bed.

"Tired," Taylor admitted. "Sore…a burden."

"What," Ryan said surprised.

Taylor looked down at her hands before looking up at Ryan. "I've never been seriously hurt before Ryan," she said softly. "I'm slow and clumsy and my Mom's been driving me everywhere. I just hate not being in control."

Ryan nodded his head because he would feel exactly the same way. It was just another thing they both had in common. They both liked being in control of their lives, had to be in control of their lives. It was one of the many things that he admired about her.

"In your message you said you needed to tell me some things," Taylor said after the silence got to be too much for her.

Ryan stared at her for another moment before saying, "I'm sorry Taylor." He walked over to the chair and sat down. "I'm sorry for being a jerk on your birthday. I'm sorry for making you think that I'm in love with Marissa…because I'm not."

"Ryan," Taylor said shifting uncomfortably.

"No you need to hear this," Ryan insisted. "A part of me will always love her. She was…a complete mess. She didn't love me," Ryan added smiling when Taylor hurried to defend Marissa.

"She did too," Taylor insisted. She may not have liked the girl very much but she knew that she had loved Ryan in her own way.

"Okay, maybe she did," Ryan conceded. "But nobody could ever love her the way she wanted to be loved because….well she didn't love herself."

Taylor looked down at her hands, she'd always thought that herself, that Marissa needed to love herself before she could fully let somebody else in. She'd never told anybody though. Marissa had been one of the Newport Goddesses and Taylor had been one of the Newport Losers.

"I was angry with Marissa," Ryan admitted surprising her once again. "I've been angry with her since the moment she died."

"But…why?" Taylor asked confused.

"She died before I could tell her that I was done," Ryan said softly, admitting the one thing he'd never told anybody. "I was going to put her on an airplane and move on with my life. But then she died and I was left…dangling. With one foot in the real world and one in limbo."

"But Volchok," Taylor said still confused.

"Whatever Marissa did or didn't do she didn't deserve to die that way," Ryan pointed out. "I knew if I was ever going to move on I had to deal with him. Plus there was guilt, a lot of guilt."

"It wasn't your fault," Taylor said again. She'd said it before and she'd going on saying it until he fully believed it. He was lucky he hadn't lost his own life that night.

"I know," Ryan agreed. "But I still lived and she died. I was messed up for a long time. Well…until a certain girl strolled into my life and shook things up with one kiss." Taylor could feel her face flush as he smirked at her. She looked down at her hands which were fidgeting in her lap. "That kiss changed my life Taylor."

"It changed mine too," Taylor said softly smiling at the memory. "I thought I knew what attraction was but…I knew nothing."

"I started falling for you that night," Ryan said shocking her. "I didn't know it at the time but you changed my whole world that night. I never thought I would feel about someone the way I felt about you."

"I…" Taylor said but she couldn't form any words.

"I couldn't even think about anybody else…you dominated my every thought. I was having the strangest fantasies," Ryan said shaking his head as he smiled at her. "Seth cracked jokes at my expense for weeks."

"But my birthday," Taylor said confused.

"I was an ass," Ryan admitted. "But I had just taken that final step, telling you how I feel and then you were already ten steps ahead of me with the whole college thing and I just…I got scared."

"I'm scared too Ryan," Taylor said softly. "The only person to tell me they love me and mean it was Henri-Michel and that didn't exactly end well. His idea of love is more of an obsession."

"That's not true, more people love you Taylor," Ryan said shaking his head. He waited until she was looking into his eyes before continuing. "I love you. I loved you on your birthday and I love you now."

"Ryan," Taylor said shaking her head. She wanted to believe him but there was still that voice in her head telling her she would be stupid to let him back in. The next him he broke her heart she might not be able to recover.

"Wait," Ryan said jumping up. He walked over to his dresser and opened the top drawer where he pulled out Taylor's real birthday present. Julie had given it to him days ago but he had waited to give it to Taylor until he thought she'd be more receptive to the gift. "This is your real birthday present."

Taylor took the wrapped gift from his hands and stared at it like it might come to life and bite her. It looked identical to the last present she'd opened from him and that had turned out to be a dictionary. She was a little afraid to see what else he would deem an appropriate gift.

"Just open it," Ryan said when she just stared at it. He watched her rip into it and held his breath as she let the paper go and held the book in her hands. She opened the first page and started reading with her lips barely moving as they formed the words silently.

"Ryan," Taylor said shocked. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "These are the poems I've translated."

"I gathered them up and had them bound for you," Ryan said reaching up with one hand so he could wipe away the tears that were starting to fall. "This is your real birthday present."

"This is…amazing," Taylor said stroking the cover gently.

"I was going to give this to you the night of the earthquake," Ryan explained sitting down beside her on the bed. "Kaitlyn more or less told me I was a complete ass for not telling you I love you. So I hurried to the Robert's house only to find you packing a bag. I never want to see you packing a bag unless you are planning on going somewhere with me."

Taylor was still staring at the book Ryan had had made for her. She couldn't believe that same guy who had given her a dictionary had had something as beautiful as a book of poetry made for her. "Ryan…I"

"Taylor," Ryan said interrupting her. "Just tell me you still love me. That I haven't destroyed the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Taylor looked into his eyes trying to see if what he was saying was true. She had to swallow a lump in her throat when the love he spoke of was shining in his eyes. "Of course I still love you," she said quickly because he wrapped his arm around her pulling her into another breath stealing kiss.

Taylor could feel Ryan maneuvering her around but she didn't want to pull away. It had been over a week since she'd been wrapped in Ryan's arms and it felt better than before. She could feel him stroking her back through her shirt and she smiled when the CD started playing the same song again. "I didn't know you were such a good fan of Cindy Lauper," she mumbled against his lips.

"Oh I am," Ryan whispered back. "A big big fan."

"I missed this," Taylor whispered later after their impromptu make-out session had ended after Taylor had bumped her broken ankle and cried out in pain, not pleasure.

"Me too," Ryan said softly stroking her hair. They were both lying on his bed with Taylor's head on his shoulder and their legs intertwined, with Ryan being careful with Taylor's injured ankle.

"So who's idea was this?" Taylor asked curiously. She'd seen Kaitlyn in the living room with Seth and Summer and couldn't help but wonder if this whole night had been orchestrated by Kaitlyn.

"Mine," Ryan said looking down at her. When she arched and eyebrow he rolled his eyes. "So okay, Kaitlyn just told me that whatever I did had to come from me. So this was my great idea. Just get you to sit down and listen to me."

"She's a genius," Taylor said thoughtfully. "I wonder if Julie realizes what she's raising."

"Even if she did it wouldn't make a difference," Ryan said smiling. "Kaitlyn is who she is. Nobody's gonna change her." He grew silent as another thought kept turning in his mind, it was something Taylor had said to him that still bothered him. "Taylor…when you said you never wanted to be second to somebody."

"It's okay Ryan," Taylor said smiling at him.

"No it's not," Ryan said turning so his body was facing hers. "I'm in love with you…I love you more than I've ever loved anybody. You are first for me. Always."

Taylor stared at him and she couldn't even try to prevent the tears that started falling. It had been enough to just hear him say that he loved her and know he meant it. But to hear him say the one thing that bothered her the most, always coming second was not true for him, it was too much.

"I need you to know that," Ryan said chastely kissing her lips and then her cheeks.

"Ryan," Taylor said softly resting her forehead against his. "God I love you."

Ryan smiled when she pulled away and laid her head back down on his shoulder. He stroked her hair until he heard her breathing slow and she fell asleep. He'd been praying for this moment since he'd carried her away from the car accident that could have claimed her life. To just be with her and know that everything was alright. He still didn't know what the future had in store for the both of them but as long as they had each other, they'd be okay.

**The End!**


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